My body has betrayed me and my mind is joining it.

I am just feeling post-moody. I don't actually know what goest after moody, other than extreme emotional unbalance and unrest, and I don't think I'm there yet, nor do I even think I'm on my way there, but I feel like I'm more than moody. I'm sure it partially hormone imbalances or something, paired with an inflamed lower back, but I hate both of those reasons because there's nothing I can do about either one. So I just have to sit and wait for them to pass? I suppose. I will see the doctor in one month, which will hopefully help with the hormone level issue.

I'm also feeling extremely anti-social, which is bad news for my coffee date this evening and my movie date tomorrow evening. It's also probably pretty bad news for the person who's lucky enough to be living with me right now. I mean, sure there are people who act worse on a daily basis than I have been recently, but I still can't help but think my occasional agitations and crankyness don't make life any easier. Sorry limenal. Hope I haven't been too annoying.

I'm back to seeing my therapist tomorrow, assuming she made it out of Argentina, and I think I will benefit greatly from a session, though I did enjoy the brief sabbatical. I also liked saving money.

Last night I had the strangest dream. Having nothing to do with sailing away to China or getting laundry cleaned. But it did involve me going to a party at De___'s apartment. I remember random bits, like taking off my shoes and putting them in her huge walk-in closet, and asking her if I could crash there that night if I ended up staying late. I also remember looking in the mirror in her bathroom and seeming taller, and weaing a button-down dark green shirt (similar to a dress shirt I actually own) and I was post-top surgery. And I had LOTS of chest hair. In the dream, I was sort of looking at myself in the mirror and feeling astounded at how I didn't even notice it happening because I was obsessed with other aspects of my chest. I stood in the mirror imagining several friends probably commenting on my chest hair (and general broadness -- it seemed as if I'd been working out a lot or something), and started to feel self-conscious and waivered between fully buttoning my shirt to avoid any comments.

This is the second dream in a few days involving me post-surgery. On Friday night I dreamt that I started going on morning jogs with my co-workker, MFHA, but I don't think we were working together at that point, since we met on the beach to run and she commented on how glad she was to have me a jogging partner since we never see each other anymore. I was also wearing a heinous outfit, involving an a-shirt and swim trunks that were black or navy and had huge white flowers all over them (a somewhat common print in surfer shorts, I believe).

In real life, I've pretty much decided that I'm going to join a local gym. It's pretty reasonably priced for what they offer, and it's just enough money to hopefully make me go and workout, but not so much to break the bank. I need to start cutting some other expenses, like eating out and whatnot. I'm pretty good about bringing my lunch, but I need to take more lessons from MelRo and bring my lunch EVERYDAY. Or at least 4 days a week.

Also, I've decided to spend my plane ticket for Seattle. Here's why. Everyone in my office won a free ticket. We must all use it before March 31st. So we'll have to coordinate vacation, and I probably won't be able to take more than 2 days off of work. If I try to go to DC/NYC, there are too many people I want to see to try and squeeze it into a 4 day trip. Plus, fares to Seattle on average are 100 dollars more than DC. So I will spend my free ticket on Seattle, and then just take a long vacation in the spring (after March 31st so I can take a whole week) and hit the Eastern seaboard.

And that's enough for now.

Top 7 Random Things to Post About

1. I bought Nas's 2nd and 3rd albums on cassette at Tower for 3 dollars each. That's definitely a good deal, if only for the songs "If I Ruled the World" (why does it sound fresh now?) and "Hate Me Now". I also went out on a limb and paid 3 dollars for Pete Yorn's album, musicforthemorningafter. Hey wearemany, you should check him out -- I think you'd really like this album.

2. Ted Demme died yesterday of a heart attack. I'm actually sorta sad about this, since he was pretty talented and did lots of production work people don't know about. Like starting Yo! MTV Raps. I feel obligated to rent Blow now, even though I know it's just mediocre.

3. clockwatcher made a comment about everyone having the same packer and eliminating the need for transguy's to compare size. That made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

4. A close friend/co-worker of mine is friends/acquaintances with my therapist. And remarkably, this doesn't bother me. But it does seem odd.

5. Happy birthday masscooper!

6. I was added to the event calender of the LCCP event, but I was never contacted with such information as compensation, obligations...and oh, I don't know, location? So I e-mailed her and told her that perhaps I might have missed a message, because I don't know any of these things. I feel a little weird, like they're going to feel bad about not paying me. And it's not the end of the world -- but please just tell me either way. In other DJ news, I will most likely NOT be doing the Freedom to Marry wedding reception, unless it's some sort of collaboration effort with another person who got asked first. However, that DJ spins CDs and I'm a snob. Well, I'm not really that bad, but there's no need for them to get dual equipment. And my classic wedding reception joints are all on vinyl. Especially if I finally locate Freddie Jackson's "You Are My Lady".

7. The workday is almost over. And as most days, that is a great thing.