Mar. 22nd, 2002

raybear: (Default)
I'm very excited to welcome back to the show, [livejournal.com profile] limenal! Unfortunately, we're taking the show on the road this weekend, but we'll be back on Sunday. And by we, I mean the royal we.

I have very little exciting to write about or comment or make not of. The trip to the airport was successful, including a quick stop at Krispey Kreme. We pretty much came home and went to bed -- the earliest I've been a sleep in a week, I think. And I was very pleased to have another body in bed with me.

I'm 'sneaking' out of work early today to catch my flight. I have to finish the table of authorities for one of the attorneys, and then work the help desk AGAIN. Doing three shifts in one week is annoying as fck, but I've been extremely lucky that all's quiet on the discrimination front.

I think I might be losing weight again. Or I might be losing the weight I put back on around the holidays. It's unclear. I just feel like my body looks different in the mirror, but perhaps things have just moved around. Or maybe just my perception has changed.

There's a possibility I might be getting a hysterectomy sooner rather than later. I talked about it some with my therapist on Wednesday who had talked about it with my doctor. He seemed to imply he'd do whatever was necessary to have my insurance cover it. He's very much a go-to kind of guy, so I feel if we talk about it next appointment, the surgery will get scheduled for the next week. Or at least soon. So I want to be mentally and psychologically prepared, and figure out if I want to go ahead and do this now. It would certainly keep my hormone fluctuations down, and I could be on a lower dose but still see significant progress. But there's something about losing a body part, even an internal organ I'm not planning on using, that's seems strange. Sort of like "there's not turning back now" which is pretty ridiculous thinking, since I haven't had any doubts in almost 2 years. And even before transitioning I never seriously considered bearing kids. In fact, I considered it more seriously AFTER deciding to start transitioning. But I can't deal with the possibility of health risks a kid would face because of my hormone treatments, so we're pretty much looking at useless organs that can only be damaged by further holding on. The decision is made in my rational mind, now I just need to be okay with clearing house. I mean, this is somewhat more significant than finally deciding to give away that favorite shirt from 8th grade that's been in the back of the closet. But, then again, maybe not.

May 2010

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