raybear | Apr. 16th, 2002

Strangely enough, when I look back to my trans coming out period, I will probably think most fondly of the restrooms at my workplace. Not only because of my occasional afternoon sabbaticals into the stall where I could process the hundreds of websites I first read talking about transmen, but because I have most all packages and online orders sent to my work address, it's also where I have escaped to try things out. Today was no different.

I received my new vest, and rather than wait patiently to go home and try in on in the privacy of the bedroom, I waited approximately one hour before I headed to my favorite second stall and quickly tore off my shirt. There's something extra bizarre about being partially naked in a public bathroom when it's not related to an obvious common goal (i.e. using the toilet or changing clothes). I guess I was techinically changing clothes, but it seems a bit more intimate and bizarre to just be standing in the stall with only pants and shoes on when a guy comes in to use the urinal.

Warning: Tranny speak/code ahead.
Anyway, I ordered from Underworks the vest and the regular tank top, though I ordered the tank in a size smaller than usual because it was on clearance. It does fit me, but constricts my breath a tad. If, however, my body continues changing shape, it will probably fit very easily soon enough. My binding method for the past 2 years or so has been the tank with the frog on top. It keeps the frog from digging into my ribs and help it look flatter and smoother. So the vest seemed to a be a variation of the tank, only with a line of hooks down the center, rather than pulling it over my head. I had serious doubts, but then I got in on and it looks about the same as my previous combination. Possibly flatter and smoother. And I don't have to wear 2 items, only one. I'm quite pleased with the results so far. If it's still working out in a few days, I'll probably go back and order 2 or 3 more so I can rotate them out so that they'll stay cleaner and won't stretch out as fast.
One drawback is that the line of hooks down the center is somewhat visible in a tight shirt, especially a white one. But I'm thinking with an a-shirt worn over it will be fine. And, and, and, I'm hoping it will be suitable for swimming, either with a sleevless shirt worn over, or if I'm feeling bold and it's an isolated area, just the vest by itself. I mean, it doesn't particularly dashing in style, but I just look like a guy who maybe has back programs or recently had surgery or something. I might also be able to wear the new vest for swimming as well, since it's a size smaller and fits more tightly -- I could just throw an a-frame on top. I don't mind wearing stuff that confuses people a little, like they might notice the double straps and think it's unusual, but they won't necessarily know what it is or why.

So that's the update on that front. In other news, last night I watched TV all night and thereby giving myself a headache from eye strain and generally demoralizing myself for lack of motivation. But on the plus side, I did get a small gig offer yesterday for next Wednesday at the AZone, and it doesn't have to be dance stuff -- I can play more chilled out stuff in the downstairs room while the performances are going on upstairs. And I e-mailed this guerilla radio station in chicago with the hopes of perhaps getting a gig with them. I'm hoping they're not defunct. They only broadcast after 6 pm, so tonight I'll try to give a listen.

Shortly I will be eating outside with one