You oughta know by now

So tomorrow at noon I'm having lunch with my boss and today I'm getting my review (which will be discussed tomorrow). It's probably better that I'm going home, packing the car, then leaving for the gig, and won't return home until about 10:30 or so -- I won't be able to fret all evening about what I'm reading. Though it's obviously much better to know what to expect going into the lunch meeting. And as I've said before, it can't be any worse than last years. Of course, it might be the same, which some could argue IS worse since I haven't improved in a year. Hmm. In a random lunch conversation a couple weeks ago, Differently Paced Coworker told me that I "shouldn't really worry about it" in this tone that indicates she knows something I don't. And maybe she does. Or maybe she was just trying to make me feel better because she knows she said nice things to my boss about me. At any rate, despite any feelings of embarassment that might come out of reading my reivew and having lunch tomorrow, they will hopefully quickly disperse once my raise goes through. I'm also feeling less invested since I know not only will I not be here forever, but also I know WHAT I will be going into next. For the most part. I'm also just having more feelings of ownership regarding my work, and I'm feeling more capable of defending it.

Damn I need a vacation. I need several days away from all work and all obligations. But of course this means work will pile up while gone. What I really want is a week in the office where no one will bother me with any other projects. Then I could get way ahead of the game, get my desk cleaned off, etc. etc. Though the chances of me actually getting this accomplished are extremely slim. I'm sure I'd spend the first 4 days goofing off, then on Friday attempt to get a bunch of stuff done at the last minute. Not-too-much-discipline, that's me.

And now my allergies are bothering me. And I'm nearly out of my bootleg allegra. I guess I should discuss this with my doctor and get a proper prescription. Speaking of doctors, I got a call this morning at work from a nurse at the hospital where I go who was inquiring about an appointment "I" made with another doctor there. An ob/gyn. She saw my name and was calling to confirm because she didn't think it was right. And it wasn't -- I haven't made an appointment with an ob/gyn. But I was scared for a minute that my doctor has done it on my behalf (why would he? I dunno). I think it was just a mixup -- they selected the wrong Johnson in the computer or whatever. But it was a weird mistake, and I worry about what I would have said if I HAD made the appointment. I think at this point complete bluntness is often the way to go. It tends to shut people up. As long as I'm in a place where it can't really hurt me. And since I think my insurance company is "onto me" and I'm currently paying all the expenses out of pocket and having them applied to the deductible, it's not like I can get screwed worse or harder.

I think this might be Day 6 of the Cranky Siege. No hostages have been released at this time

for those in the Chicago area tonight.

In case you're in the city, and possibly interested in dropping by to hear my chill, eclectic set, here's the info:

* * * * * * * * *
autonomous zone queer space grand opening kick off event.
april 24th 6pm til whenever at the autonomous zone
(2129 n. milwaukee ave- next to the congress theatre).

[I'll be downstairs in the basement during the spoken word/poetry/film section between 7 and 9:30.]

music/bands for the evening: scott free, aerin tedesco, the flashtrashtix and the rotten fruits.

(queer space at the azone will be an all inclusive and free event for TBLGs and allies and will be every wednesday starting in may. the space can be used for performances, cafes, forums, discussions, workshops, caberets, parties. basically anything we want to do.)
* * * * * * * *

It's free, of course. And if you help me load the car after I spin, I'll give you a ride home

magical. magical. no, child!

So the event was...fine. Not horrible, not super. Had a couple cool small chats with folks, including one person who bought two mixtapes, which means I almost broke even for the cost of tapes, thought not neceesarily labor. But I'll probably send out a couple tapes to some radio folks, so it's certainly not a waste. I also got a quick introduction to geechee and put a face to the name. And a name to the name too, techinically!

There were also some strange conversations with some weird cats at the event. I definitely used the DJ snobbery mode to my advantage when possible (e.g. this one guy who's apparantly an expoitive artist and started going on about how he's 'done' with the theater experience and want to move into film, so I just nodded then put on my headphones and cued up the next record about 10 times in a row). But the couple organizers themselves were really nice and cool, so I wouldn't necessarily turn down another experience to work with them again.

It helped to have Damon along too, I think, to keep me company in the long, dark basement. As I told him, this experience is going in my future biographical pieces.

I should be going to sleep, but part of me is inclined to wait up for Melro to come home. Which is fairly ridiculous since she'll probably just come home and pass out, and I have to get up early tomorrow for work. I give myself 20 more minutes.