Hot up in herrrrrre.

I think my shot yesterday caused my blood sugar to drop to migraine level, but I got home early and ended up having some good chatting with Shana. Unfortunately I had to cut the conversation short since it was hard to listen and nod and react and think and talk without causing further throbbing in my left temple. But hopefully we'll get a chance to talk more, especially since I'm fascinated with how her current relationships are shaping up in her life and how it fits into expectations and unexpected pleasures and it's helpful for me to hear right now because of my own attempts to change my perception and open myself up.

I re-read section of The Ethical Slut in the waiting room yesterday. Funny how certain passages I've read before and remember didn't mean much at the time, but now they make perfect sense. I also realized that my first time reading the book was also the first time I read the books Come Hither and SM 101 and my perceptions of sex with others has been shaped within this idea of kink -- outside sex with others as a fetish, so to speak, versus an extension of an additional relationship outside of the primary partnership. That seemed like TOO much at the time -- polyamory or whatever one wants to call it was breaking too many boundaries and I wasn't able to really articulate and understand and incorporate it, even though to a small extent I was already doing it.

I didn't mean to go into that just now. But whatever.

Last night was fun for seeing the growingly trashy (finally) Real World and the mildly disappointing Kelly Osbourne (there was just too much hype), but I think after the shows I should have turned off the TV and made everyone play a rousing game of Trivia Pursuit. I fall back to the television so often in my social interactions because I get a complex about finding conversation topics for everyone to participate in, and it seems so much easier to just had a mystery science theater-style evening of TV watching with occasional personal conversation during commercial breaks. But then it seems like such a waste of time afterwards. Don't get me wrong -- I loved all the people in my living room last night and I had some excellent laughs and some great stories were told. Sometimes I just think the interactions would be better served in other mediums. Television and movies are my social crutch. But I guess since it's my household I have the license to unplug the machine and turn up some music and re-focus people's attention -- it's just sometimes that seems like way too much work.

I have therapy tonight. What a long strange two weeks it's been.

Not-so-secret Secrets

I've decided in lieu of waxing eloquently about something from my past or present or hope for the future, I shall instead make a list of random things people probably don't know about me (and there's no reason why they should know them) or strange elements of my past I think of fairly regularly. I could probably write a story surrounding each one, but that's for another day.

1.) In eighth grade I was the middle school Geography Bee champion.

2.) I have a scar on my left arm, near where it bends that came from getting the skin caught on the door handle of a camper I was hiding in during a neighborhood game of Kick The Can.

3.) On the way home from a friend's funeral my senior year I rear-ended another friend who was attempting a U-turn on interstate access road. It was legally her fault but my dad paid for it anyway.

4.) I've never honestly told anyone the truth of the first person(s) I really kissed. At least, I don't think I have.

5.) I wet the bed at least until the age of 7, possibly up to 8.

6.) My freshman year I got up at 6 am and took a train downtown to mildly stalk someone before I took a chemistry final exam at 9 am. But she wasn't even there.

7.) My aunt is the first person I knew who got a divorce -- it happened when I was 7, yet somehow I knew exactly what the word meant. Her ex died in a car crash while drunk a couple years ago.

8.) I have a phobic hatred of golf.

9.) When I babysat instead of eating all their food I would instead consume excessive amounts of children's vitamins. I still crave flinstones vitamins.

10.) In a particularly religious phase of mine sometime around the age of 10, I set up an altar by my bed so I could have daily meditation and communion. It never really panned out because my mom wouldn't allow me to have food in my room.