Hotter than a pop tart fresh out of the toaster.

My therapist asked if I bring my dog to work. I told her that’s a good idea but unfortunately I can’t. Technically I’ve never asked, but I’m making an educated guess. I may bring her to the next therapy session though.

Last night was a good reconnecting evening and early birthday gift in some ways since I think the schedules will be too busy over the next few days. We’re having another houseguest starting Thursday evening, but it’s only one person who’s in town for additional activities, plus he’s not my friend so the obligation to entertain is not as prevalent. There’s just no watching television in only my boxer briefs. (Unless I capitalize on my idea to be a gateway fck.)

Tonight may or may not be dinner with law school friends in Hyde Park and may or may not be another meeting of the kicky reality-tv group and may or may not be me watching one of the movies that arrived in the mail yesterday. I really wish there were 30 hours in every day – it would open up so many more opportunities for me. I haven’t even touched my MPC or turntables in weeks, because life has been so busy and overcrowded and overstimulating. I keep saying after this weekend it will calm down, and I need to make that true. Luckily I’m having a big party on Saturday where I’ll see most every friend in the metropolitan area and then I will not feel socially obligated for at least a week. I don’t mean for “obligated” to imply that I have pushy and needy friends – it sounds like people are always banging down my door and forcing me to hang out with them against my will. I own up to the fact that I want to do things with them, which is why I say ‘yes’ or call them up on my own volition and make plans. But sometimes after the fact I get mad at myself for poor planning and not taking care of myself. So I’m constantly trying to better monitor my behavior and not be to hasty in my schedule planning and make sure that I say “no” at times to myself and others so that in the long run I’ll feel better about how I’m spending my time.

I haven’t quite started to work on that in the work arena yet. Some other time.

always coming late if they come at all

So, I'm reading some random account of someone's life. And they describe the guy their dating, saying he's the best they've known and "treats [them] well and he doesn't yell or hit me."

The phrase just leaped out at me and couldn't even keep reading with any amount of concentration. I mean, I don't even think I could label someone not hitting me as "a good thing" -- it's more of a required thing, or a "not bad" thing. But I hope that the person I'm with has more good qualities beyond their ability to not engage in violent behavior.

Suppose I'm just having a moment of realization of how different people's lives and experiences and perspectives can be.

I'm lucky enough that I've never been in an intimate relationship with someone who hit me, yet at times I've been surrounded by people in my life who were or are in that situation. It's part of the reason I decided to go through the intense 50-hour state certification training to volunteer with domestic violence victims and survivors. After I completed the training I feel like it started happening even more often -- from close friends to acquaintances would reveal situations where they're partner was violent and/or abusive.

I don't even know if I'm a good person to talk to about the subject, because I fear I react to vehemently, which gets read as quick judgment. In reality it's more about fear that it will escalate to a much riskier situation even while I'm standing there talking to the person confessing their situation to me. As if the threat is occuring right at that moment if I don't start listing every possible option as well as every possible reason to get out and throw in a dash of support and empathy, then the person will magically be hospitalized as soon as they turn their back to me.

Or maybe it's because she got shot in the face by her stepdad while trying to defend her little brother.

I don't really have a savior complex in this area. But I do have a story that I tell, and I guess I realize that's all I can really do anyway -- share the few pieces of information I have because I didn't have them before to give. So now I probably tend to just vomit out this huge catalog of knowledge with the hopes that something I spit out will fit the situation and possibly prove helpful.

Reading that piece though makes me realize I'm out of the habit. After finally convincing an old friend of mine to leave her abusive girlfriend even if it meant mobing back in with her parents, I haven't encountered as many people in my life who share the issue with me. Maybe I've paid off some perceived karmic debt, so I no longer attract the situation. But I suppose I'm still prepared.