oh, fuck it.

I started trying to make a friends filter specifically for this issue but whatever. I have no shame, who am I kidding?

So anyway, my cherry's been popped and here's my unabashed introduction into the world of slashy fanfic. It's possible I may never return, so mark this date on the calender so you'll know when you lost me.

Puffy and Usher? What? I don't get it.

(Just a warning, this is really only PG. Though it would probably get labelled PG-13 since it's two guys.)

Have you ever seen that movie with Meryl Streep and the horses?

I really really hate fakers. I hate people who play along or present themselves as knowing something they don't. This is terribly hypocritical of me, I'm sure, since I might be a faker at times. Though most times I never lie -- if someone directly asks my knowledge I confess I'm not an expert and generally give authentic credentials, no matter how small.

And of course, the context of all of this is not life-altering matters. I'm talking mostly about inane hobbies, interests, politicking and pop culture, not lying on resumes or creating fictitious histories. I'm talking about indicating that believing someone's choice for a great album is false when the music has never been heard. Or nodding enthusiastically about how great rock-climbing is when 365 days of the year are spent in city limits. Or sharing in rage over the latest vote on an ordinance when no vote was cast.

This irritates me.

It's the same source of irritation from critics who have no understanding of what they are critiquing. I'm not saying you have to be an award-winning fiction writer to compose a book review, but there has to be certain elements of respect and knowledge and understanding. You don't have to make automobiles to review them, but you do have to drive them, preferably well.

I struggle with this in my career. People who call themselves writers that seem to be lacking certain basics make me question not only their career choice, but also my own possible future in that profession. I think, I can do what they're doing and possibly better, so why aren't I? Because I'd still feel like a fake-r.

I feel like a fake DJ. It's hard for me to interact with other DJs, for always feeling I'm not enough of an expert. But I'm not fake -- at least not until I start trying to be more than I am. That's my new goal: be realistic about my knowledge and experience and I won't be a fake-r.
Humility is hard. Admitting I don't know something is not nearly as easy as being a smart-ass know-it-all. I shouldn't be so wrapped up in who knows what and how much. But I think I'll still always get irritated when someone around me is faking it. I can never not notice.