Don't get angry with yourself.

Someone told me recently that I seem lost and unhappy. Or maybe that they worry I'm such.

I immediately wanted to deny the statement, but it seemed like a knee-jerk reaction. So I decided to think about it.

And think and think and think and think. That was almost 2 days ago. I still don't know. I worry it's true, but I'm not sure. Then I think, well, if I can't explicitly deny it, doesn't that imply it's true? Indicates that I'm so lost I can even see that I'm lost?

I'm really good with driving directions. I'm excellent at finding locations I've never been, and I can almost always point which way is north. Even if I mess up on my way to a location, I never feel like I'm lost, because I know what went wrong and how to fix it, even if it means back tracking or going around. To me, being lost implies not only do you not know where you're going, but you don't know where you currently.
Maybe I am lost. Am I unhappy? I don't know. I don't feel unhappy. I don't feel particularly happy either though, so again, does the default indicate some truth I'm missing?

I haven't been unhappy in a long, long time. I've been depressed, but that somehow feels different. Maybe I've just forgotten what it's like.

Ooops.

I forgot to commemorate my 1,000th entry. It was the one yesterday morning about my co-worker calling me a beautiful fat person. Or whatever.

This is an alarm call, so wake up, wake up now.