How could it be that I was born without a clue to carry on and still it is the same now I am older

Last night I dreamt I had a conversation with my father. A sort of telephone in person conversation that only dreams are capable of producing -- starting on the phone then I remember him being in front of him directly and hugging him. In the dream he asked me questions. Real questions. And he was interested in the answers. He asked about my health, my changes, the legal things, my plans, my work, my girlfriend. He was scared or silenced when I spoke of surgery. He flat out said "well, I just think it's time I finally know what's going on in your life."

I'm sure this dream was triggered by conversations with Educating Esme last night post-antiqueerbashingmarch about family and holidays and her dismay that in 2 years they haven't made much progress.

Current dreamsigns: Being in large bathrooms (like public restrooms or locker rooms) with missing doors or broken locks, or being unable to pee or shower without fear of someone walking in. Also, people who have the face of one person I know but the personality of someone else I know. Also, getting into aggresive shouting angry fights with people I'm close to you, usually including the yelling of the phrase "fuck you" and feeling simultaneously relieved and happy but also guilty.

To be added to the list: my parents acting like normal communicating people.

Yesterday I read two magazines and listened to four albums. I very rarely just listen to music, i.e. sit and do nothing else but take it in, but yesterday I sort of half-napped, half-listened, and enjoyed being stretched out on the couch for a lazy Saturday afternoon. Today I'll probably indulge my habit and spend more time watching movies and TV.

By the way, thanks for the poll results. Be on the lookout for your topic sometime soon!

Bugs and puppy chow

Jerusalem Crickets

Jerusalem Crickets? What the fck are Jerusalem Crickets? Oh! Potato bugs! That's what they're called in the South. I had many family members who did battle with Potato Bugs in their gardens and farms, including my Uncle David (to whom I recently came out and wrote about here). My grandfather might have been the first person who taught me the term -- he had a significant garden patch behind his backyard, and I would go out with him and pick strawberries and blueberries off the bush. I always wanted to eat them right away, but he insisted we always wash them off inside first. He spent much of the time just looking at stuff. I never understood what. But then again, I was six. I didn't understand he was looking for evidence of said potato bugs who would have eaten up his potatos the night before, since they're nocturnal (as I recently learned). My grandaddy was a tall old-school deep south type of grandfather. He wore dress pants all the time and button down short sleeve shirts when casual. He always wore an undershirt and carried a pocketknife. He died when I was seven. I was given a chance to pick an item of his out of a drawer, and almost took his harmonica but instead chose a pocketknife that had a small blade on one end and a ballpoint pen on the other. This seemed like the coolest tool ever.

I still regret not taking that harmonica.

Purina Dog Chow

Churches are big on potluck dinners and such. There's always the bucket of KFC which goes fast and one must be near the front of the line to get a crack at drumstick. I loved KFC because I loved fried chicken and also because my family never ate there, so it seemed like a special treat. But my favorite dish at church parties was the "puppy chow" -- a dessert-y dish that involved chex mix stirred into melted chocolate and peanut butter, then dusted with powdered sugar. It resembed dog food when sitting in the bowl. But it tasted amazing -- melting in your mouth, crunchy and sweet and rich. I wish I had that recipe -- I haven't had puppy chow in years.

My second thoughts on Purina Dog Chow are more recent and involve the conspiracy of cheap pet food. Purina is either the best of the worst or the worst of the best, depending on how you look at it. Veterinarians really DO recommed Science Diet and Eukanuba and IAMS. Pedigree was at the bottom of the list, and that's the premium version of Purina. People don't know that buying the cheapest food is bad for their pet, or even when they think they are spending more money on middle of the road better food, it's still not good for them. Such class and education bias. The worst story was told to me by MelRo, about Whiskas cat food which was proven to cause urinary tract infections in cats, but no one hears about such things. We noticed that Whiskas now markets a new food that contains "ingredients to help urinary tract health!" Hmmm. Sounds like they either put in counter-medication to battle the problems the food causes, or maybe they were finally forced to change their recipe, but rather than owning up to the fact that thier food CAUSED the problems, they're focusing on the positive.

Quote of the day (and further pop culture commentary)

"The 80's were not a good time to become famous."
-- Kylie Minogue

Will someone please tell me when 90's nostalgia will begin? I want to mark my calender and be prepared. Though the upshot might be that 80s nostalgia will die down. I'm sure many folks will disagree, but the 80s are fired. At least the 80s as presented by VH1, Rhino box sets, and John Hughes. Not the 80s as featured in the tape Liza had of the MTV Top 100 Countdown 1986 -- no one talks about Emerson, Lake, and Powell, do they? Though to be fair, most folks who are holding for too long are people who were born in the 80s so they didn't fully live things out. I had enough the first go round, thanks.

Um, why is Shawna my new favorite rapper? Why will I be considering buying the Disturbing the Peace album just to hear her 16 bars?

I was watching the VH1 sexiest rock stars, but I think I'll switch to MTV2 and watch Jurassic 5's top 50 hip hop videos. I should probably switch to not watching TV at all -- maybe in an hour or so. But Aisha Tyler! Aisha's on VH1! Such tough decisions to face in my life on this Sunday afternoon.