The doctor looked and said, "He's gonna be a Bad Boy"

My social calender is suddenly packed.

Tonight is coffee with Mark. I'm not so much looking forward to this as I am just wholly intrigued. He's 57 and unemployed. Um, yeah. Okay, that sounds really mean, but whatever.

Last night I spoke on the phone with Fred. He's Italian. He brought that up a couple times. He's a also a big bear -- 5'8" and 300#. Woof! And he's been an entertainment writer and theater and film critic. I thought he was my dream personal ad date, until I actually spoke to him on the phone. I got the feeling that he's a professional personal ad responder. I felt like I was being interviewed for a job! He was mildly abrasive (like Soft Scrub) and I think I just need to meet him person to get a better feel for his personality, though after talking to him, I don't really feel much like it. Especially since there are other prospects.

Darryl lives near me and works near me -- since I'm busy with coffee tonight, we're doing lunch instead on Thursday. He's bright and chipper and seems sort of enthused, but in a matter-of-fact way. He asked how many responses I'd gotten to my ad, which caught me off guard -- I thought that was a taboo topic in the beginning. I mean, not really. It was just unexpected. He's the amateur tennis player. And I mean amateur in the professional sports sense, not the "I played in high school but haven't touched a racket in three years" sense (i.e. me.) He's 34 and seems hyper and athletic. Maybe I shouldn't be so biased against fit people, but I'm probably just defensive since I assume they'll judge me -- I'd rather reject them first. But I'm trying to be more open. So I'm excited but nervous and slightly edgy about Darryl.

Friday night is Richard. He seems youngish (20s-30s) and spastic in a cute way. He was nervous on the phone but still capable of making sense and wanted to meet right away which I liked. Not in a slimey "meet me at the bar in 45 minutes way", but just in an active date-like way. I don't like spending hours and hours on the phone and over e-mail then to finally meet in person and nothing clicks. I'd rather meet in person right away and save time and energy. I'm excited and confident about meeting Richard.

And potentially Saturday is Bill. He's 51, works on the faculty of some university and lives in Oak Park (just west of the city). He's completely my high school chemistry teacher. He seems wholesome but in an endearing way -- he goes to gay Catholic services on Sunday evening, has a dog and a cat, and lives with a straight female roommate and hangs out with her and her boyfriend. And he's a top. Woot! He also liked my photo and wants to talk on the phone today, so I'm hoping that means he wants to go out on Saturday. I feel excited about Bill, and a little bit....powerful in the possible interactions. Also, I already came out as being bisexual and possibly hinted about having a female partner, and he still wanted to get together, so that's a good start.

( non-personal ad stuff )

A skull cap?

So I solidified my lunch date with Darryl. For some reason he cracks me up when I talk to him on the phone, and it's not because he's cracking jokes. There's just something about his demeanor that makes me laugh -- he's so sort of forward and direct and matter-of-fact, like we didn't just meet randomly through a newspaper. I like it. It feels better than the typical routine of personal ads -- it's more like we met at a party or something.

I spoke on the phone with Bill on my way to United to pick up one of the attorneys' plane ticket. He's very friendly and chatty, more so than I originally thought. He asked about me being bisexual and if I had a girlfriend, so the cat's out of the bag on that one and I feel quite relieved. He mentioned that he felt the same way when he was my age, but he hasn't had sex with women in years and hasn't missed it. I told him I wasn't afraid of "going gay" but I didn't feel compelled to force myself into that category if it's not true. He also asked if I enjoyed sex with men. I said yes. Is that a lie? I mean, I want to enjoy sex with men. I think about having enjoyable sex with men. But I haven't exactly had enjoyable sex with men. Yet.

I don't think it's a lie.

He later mentioned his penchant for honesty. Complete honesty at all times and whatnot. Hmmm. Guess this means I shouldn't hold out on the trans thing for too long. I've also decided to not make it such a big deal -- don't do the whole "I have something serious to tell you and I hope you won't be upset...." which automatically puts the other person on freak-out alert and also shapes it as some sort of horrible condition. But if I'm casual and open and just say something like "have I mentioned my cock isn't attached to my body? no? well, it does" then move on and it's fine. I'm not lying about being a queer man -- I AM a queer man. Why do I forget that sometimes? Maybe because I don't go around all day thinking about what a guy I am.
I think by Sunday I'm going to be socially exhausted and will spend the day in bed.

I'm also thinking about going up to Milwaukee with Riley on Saturday evening for the Forge meeting. Either with MelRo's car if she approves or by some other route. It might be a good way to rejuvenate after my complete immersion into officially dating men. I love how I go from 0-60 in 3 days.

Oh, and speaking of gay men, I had a fabulous conversation with a co-worker from the New York office. More people to go out with when I'm in the city!

The Night I Kissed Larry Kramer

Or more accurately, the night Larry Kramer gave me the brush off. I didn't get the hug or handshake goodbye -- I got the pat on the arm! I was nearly irate. I was supposed to brush him off. Though as MelRo so lovingly pointed out, the reason he rejected me is because I gave him the tools to do it -- I just dropped the big bomb on him about being bi, being partnered, being trans. I'm sure his mind is still reeling. Oh, and there's no way he's 5'7" or even 57 yo. He seemed closer to to 5'5" and 64 yo. He was the love child of Larry Kramer and Peter Boyle, though maybe more two parts Larry. Which, you know, would have been great if he was actually Larry. But instead it was just awkward in that way when your Dad's friend gives you a ride home and you like him well enough but it's a supreme effort to sustain a conversation. I found myself mumbling a lot -- that's a bad sign. It means I'm nervous and insecure about what I'm saying and/or I'm not even really saying anything at all and I'm only making vowel noises with occasional consonants to fill the air while my brain constructs real sentences.

So anyway, I'll be shocked if he calls me. Which is fine. It's not like I'd rush to call him back. But I feel fine with the prospect of possibly running into him at future community events and being cordial.

( click here to see what he looks like! )