I'm a vampire.

Future Bible Heroes were fabulous and as soon as I have money I'll be buying their album. New!Mark was cool too. He might be mancub material, but only grocerygetter can really make that determination. I have a major complex about him for several reasons:

1) the Joe Murphy thing. Part of the Joe Murphy complex isn't so much about Joe Murphy himself (or in this case New!Mark), but more about me and how I feel around them. Major friend crush feelings, trying to think of the best thing to make him (or them) like me. I don't mind a hint of that -- it makes me step up my game, and all the good people in my life have made me feel that way in the beginning -- but I worry it will go too much over the edge cause distress and eventually obsession. I'm an obsessive type. I don't need such agitation. But I think I'm also older and wiser and less susceptible to it the way I was in my younger years. Ha.

2) he's tall and lanky (read: skinny). i automatically believe he will in no way be attracted to me. which isn't actually the end of the world because even though he was cute, i wasn't in immediate jump-your-bones state of mind. frankly i would be cool with just being buddies and hanging out. but it will still give me a body image complex at times. tall skinny boys are the final frontier for me. probably because there are few in my life who proved themselves to be open-minded about body image and desire.

3) New!Mark is that guy in college that you think is gay initially than shortly after realize he's straight, even very straight, and later laugh at the fact that you thought he was gay just because he's artsy and nerdy and lanky. He's Gay-Straight. Except, you know, he's not, because he answers personal ad in men-seeking-men sections in the local paper. I can't believe he's gay, for some reason.

So after the concert I was rehearsing what to say on the walk back to the train that would convey the fact that I like him without being creepy or overbearing and also reassure him that even if he doesn't want to fuck or whatever I still want to go to shows and movies with him. But as soon as I stepped outside he said, "yeah, I gotta go to this thing."

No! I was getting the brush-off!

Actually it was some work event he claimed he had to make an appearance at, but he then said directly, "i want to go out with you again." we complimented our taste in music and I mentioned wanting to go to facets movies and he whipped out his membership card. So he smiled and we shook hands and I walked home. I think he might like me a little.

Oh, and the funniest thing said to me yesterday which has nothing to do with New!Mark.

Roberto mentions a hot page boy in City Hall who looks like Freddie Prinze Jr.
Me: "We should go to California and stalk Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. I could keep Sarah occupied while you pounce on Freddie. I mean, I don't really think she's that hot or anything, but at least I could say I fucked Buffy."
Roberto: (long pause.) "You know, Sarah Michelle Gellar really is the Lindsay Wagner of her generation."

I laughed long and hard.

( click here to see The Bionic Woman! )

the same advice I gave my wife

I just left this as a comment, but I'm so entertained by it that I'm posting it here too. Here's how to look like me. AKA fashion for beginners.

The key to my wardrobe is that most everything matches. I've only recently made additions to my wardrobe that only go with a select other garments. For example, almost all of my pants are khaki pants, jeans, or gray pants. I have lots of gray and black shirts. I think v-neck sweaters and shirts are good, but make sure the v doesn't go to low -- not past your collar bone. Don't be afraid to buy clothes that actually fit and possibly even cling a little -- I think it looks much neater to have a form fitting shirt that shows off a belly a little rather than a baggy sloppy shirt.

Stick with solid pants initially. No patterns or even tweed types either. Don't buy jeans too overrinsed, and if you prefer buying the dark rinse deep blue jeans, realize that you aren't buying jeans -- you're buying blue pants, so you can't get away with quite as much. Black and gray don't always work with dark blue jeans -- it's too much like mixing navy and black which CAN be done, but leave it to the professionals.

Button up shirts are a good way to look sharp, either alone or under said v-neck sweater. Sweater vests are excellent in making chests look smoother and they lengthen your torso if your short-waisted (which I am). I prefer wearing dress pants, dress shirt and tie with a sweater vest instead of a coat, but it still looks dressy. (Solid color ties or small patterns are good.)

Always match your belt and shoes. And please don't wear white socks with dark shoes. White socks should only be worn with sneakers. I like thicker cotton black socks, which feel like athletic socks and last longer (instead of those thin trouser socks).

Brown shoes are iffy. I generally stay away from them because they're often hard to pull off. I have one pair that sits and collects dust. Instead I prefer yellow shoes -- the timberland macaroni boot color. Dark red might work too.

Don't be afraid to mix brown and black. A maroon shirt with dark brown pants looks better with a black belt and black shoes. Trust me. Brown shoes are pretty hard to pull off, except for maybe with jeans when being really casual and even then....it's for advanced fashionistas frankly. Stick with black shoes for the most part.

White undershirts are good too -- I wear them under almost everything. The white collar makes every shirt looks crisper and neater.

So was this too basic? Do you need more specifics? Brands? I'm mostly an old navy man, sometimes gap. I also like van heusen, actually, and sometimes structure and polo, but only if I find them at thrift stores.

Thrift store shoppping is an excellent way to try different style and sizes without having to spend tons of money. Also, i recommend having one pair of good expensive shoes that don't hurt your feet (preferably black!) and buying the rest at payless -- another good way to get something stylish and trendy and trying out before spending hundreds of dollar on something that will look lame next year.

Good luck!!

raybear, the self-appointed wannabe fashion guru

Permanent girlfriend

Lunch with Bob was fabulous. I hope I wasn't too intense -- maybe I'll let him talk more next time. (And in case limenal is curious, the topic of money didn't come up at all. Maybe it was a fluke last time.) Also, he's bisexual. And wicked cute. And I didn't even meet him in a personal ad. But you know, I don't want to push anything since he's friends with a friend of mine and my best friends and you know how those social circle things go.

But my favorite phrase of the conversation came when I told him a little bit of my personal ad adventures and he said, "just to clarify, now you have a permanent girlfriend, right?"

Yes, yes, I do.

Also, I'm almost to 15,000 words on the novel. This morning Melanie inquired about whether a character is based on her. Sparky made a request to have a role as well. Silly people. I'm way too much of an egoist for that. All of these characters in the book are me, me, me! But I might let you play one of them in the movie version. Except my book would make a horrible movie since there's very little action.