Because I need therapy.

Last night I finally saw the movie 8 Mile. Obviously not the last person on the planet or anything, but considering my love for hip-hop, curiosity/interest in Eminem, and general love for the "dreams can come true, you know" genre of movies, it's a little suprising it took so long. I'd give it three-and-a-half stars (out of five). I mostly enjoyed the movie while watching it, though when it ended I couldn't help but feel "is that the end?" Not because the conclusion was unsatisfactory, but because the elements of the movie never really came together in a cohesive way for me. Other random problems:

- Why did both Kim Basinger and Brittany Murphy have southern accents? Just because they live in trailers? They also live in DETROIT which, last time I checked, was NOT the south. Oh wait, it's because Basinger is southern and can't act, that's why. Is the same true of Brittany or did she just spend too much time recording her episodes of King of the Hill?


- The sexual tension between Mekhi and Eminem was hot. And helped boost my rating by half a star. If they had made out, I'd have rated the movie even higher.

- Was I supposed to feel sorry for Rabbit when he was the next contestant on "Catch a Beatdown" near the end of the movie? Because he spent the whole movie jumping/punching other people (hello? Anger management? Stan, why are you so mad?), I just didn't seem to have much sympathy when he finally got his ass whupped. Maybe because it wasn't well-filmed -- I've seen more than once guys lying on the ground getting boots in their ribs and face, and that's not what it sounds or looks like. I probably wasn't supposed to be laughing either when Lily was screaming his name at the window, but I just didn't really care. (The Hailey-wannabe character was so over-the-top in her pitiful cuteness and as a prop to show his 'sensitive' side.)

Despite my ranting, don't get me wrong -- I'm glad I saw it and definitely enjoyed parts of it. Nor did I think it was a horrible movie or anything -- it just didn't quite come together in a way I hoped.

In other news, tonight I'm going to burn my mixes so I can finally mail out what I owe both redrider and greyandred (sorry for the delay!). I might also make a new mix for myself that's been brewing in my head for the past couple days/weeks.

If your radio is experiencing ANY kind of difficulty, turn the volume up.

I've been in a very dance-y mood lately, which is probably proof-positive that I'm absolutely sleep-deprived. I mean, not that I have to be loopy or non-sober or anything to dance, because that's not true at all. I love dancing, I just sometimes have a hard time crossing that threshold between the state of non-dancing and moving. Even when I'm in a situation where it's not inappropriate (i.e. a club with a dance floor). For some reason I'll feel strange and nervous about making the first move, but then once I breakthrough, I'm fine. Strange, I know, especially since I've never really thought about how I do this before.

At home, it's the same way. I will occasionally dance or do dramatic song interpretations in the kitchen while cooking/washing dishes, but only while alone. Even then I might restrain myself initially, only allowing my head to bob before finally allowing other body parts to join in.

Last night I got excited EVERY time a 1995 song came on during the movie. For those who are interested in expanding their hip hop repetoire, particularly for that period, I actually recommend the "More Music from the movie 8Mile soundtrack", which is an excellent mixtape/best-of from the era. I'm always tempted to buy it when I see it, then I remember I have all of the songs at home already and I could make my own version of it. My favorite jam last night was Biggie's "Who Shot Ya", so after turning of the tv and getting ready for bed, I wanted to hear it again. Of course my turntables are currently covered in piles of CD's so I couldn't play any vinyl without cleaning up. Instead I put in Faith Evans album where she uses the same sample. I would make a dig at this time about her being on the ghost of Biggie's dick, but she was married to him, so she gets a bye. At least for a few more years -- then I'll probably want her to give up the widow thing. (Lil Kim's window of freedom expired about two years ago -- let him go baby!)

So anyway, I'm standing in the living room, trying to remember why I went back in there, and soon I find myself dancing along to the song, all the way to the end, and even kept going when the next song (You Gets No Love) came on. Sophie was mesmerized. Well, first she tried to wrestle with me and chew my hands whenever I snapped my fingers, but then she gave up and just sat and watched. Having an audience made me nervous, as did the prospect of a certain person coming out of the bathroom and around the corner to discover me. So I hit the "fade muting" button right when Puffy's verse came on and headed towards the bedroom.

Now Kylie is singing to me at work and if it wasn't for this window between me and Next-Door Neighbor, I'd be having a party in my cubicle. It's better than a party in my mouth, though none of you would be invited.

I know the world is going crazy.

I know I've posted excessively today, but I have two questions to pose to people who are lovely enough to take some time from their day to read this.

1. I have this strange emotional memory that gets triggered whenever I hear Ja Rule's Livin' It Up. And no, it's not blinding rage or anything. I feel really really sad. Today I realized that I must have some sort of association from when it was being played on the radio non-stop (back when I listened to WGCI at work and not CD's). Can someone help me out by reminding me of when the single was released and played repeatedly? I get all of his songs mixed up, and I don't need exact dates -- just a 2-3 month approximation.

2. I was given a Starbucks gift card today for a small amount -- barely enough to buy a mocha. I'm rather opposed to consuming products from Starbucks. Is using this gift card, which is not my money, compromising my moral superiority on this issue? Discuss.

Yesterday I said I was leaving at 5 pm to go home and nap. That didn't happen. Today it will. I promise myself. Hell, I'm probably going to pass out on the train and wake up in Evanston whether I want to take a nap or not.