I don't recall, ever graduating at all. Sometimes I think I'm just a disappointment to y'all.

I got to work early. Who knew?

I had a quiet evening of bleucheeseburgers at Angel's then shared jack&coke's with Damon while we watched our friend play The Singing Bartender for the evening. We caught up on the past week and I told more than one random story that involved the plot of a made-for-television movie.

The bus came immediately and dropped me off at home, where I drew a bath and received a phone call from wearemany literally thirty seconds before I was going to call her. I climbed into my big comfy bed and talked until I nearly fell asleep.

Last night I had lots of dreams that were constantly interrupted by a need to blow my nose. I only remember waking up once, but this morning I looked at my nightstand and saw a dozen used tissues piled up.

The most vivid dream involved a whale, specifically a humpback whale. Part of the scene involved rehabilitating the creature, who would morph into a person when out of the water, though it wasn't it's preferred or natural state. Very The Last Unicorn feeling. I and others returned her to the ocean, then found ourselves stranded in the water, unable to get back on land because it wasn't beach, only rocks with steep drop offs and nothing to grip and pull ourselves up. The whale boosted us back onto dry land. I remember the sensation of being lifted very vividly.

( some info from a google search on animal signs and what whales mean )

I need whale medicine like a mofo.

You held it in for so long, you bursted into tears

From a daily buddhist online meditation:

How lucky I am to be alive this morning, that death did not occur last night. How lucky I am to have my perfect human body; ... how lucky I am to have met the Buddhadharma; I should not waste my life.

I've gotten large amounts of work done this morning, comparatively speaking. Deadlines are a good thing, assuming they're reasonable. I appreciate the rush that comes with it. I'm on page 9 out of 21 and I have until about 4 pm or so. Another half hour of work or so, then I'll take a lunch break and check out dommeyourass's court case.

I think tonight after work I'm going for a run. Maybe if I say it here I'll feel more obligated to make it happen. I might have to quit smoking for a few days to help my body adjust, but I'll see how hard of a time my lungs have. Maybe I can just get away with cutting back down to more reasonable levels (one pack a week instead of three packs a week).

Or maybe I'll meditate instead. I just feel the need to do something physical. I wish I had a pool I could swim in. I hate that I can't just go swimming anymore (despite "my perfect human body").

I should not waste my life.

Put the lady down.

Lately I've had many life lessons that apply to this zen meditation/parable, so much so that I've developed a shortened catch phrase whenever it applies: put the lady down.

Here's the explanation, for posterity and explanation's sake. It's not like I'm really going to forget it.

Two monks are walking down the road when they come to a river. A young lady wishes to cross the stream but she's nable to ford it alone. The older monk sees her distress and offers to piggy-back her across. She climbs up on his back and puts her arms around his neck. As her legs straddle his waist, he hooks his arms under her knees to hold her securely. The two monks ford the river and once safely on the other side, the first monk gently sets the lady down. As the monks resume their journey, the younger monk gets more and more upset and confused as each hour passes. Finally he expresses his indignation. "Do you not care that you have violated our rules of decorum?... that you have compromised your modesty by holding a woman in such an intimate way? How do you justify your actions?" On and on he questions until finally, the older monk says, "Brother, I put the lady down back at the river. Why are you still carrying her?"