Can you hear me now?

The whole point of instant gratification is that it's instantaneous. Hence the name. So I go next door and buy a new cell phone, but it's yet to be activated because the system is down. In the meantime, I've just been reading about my phone's features online. Unfortunately I still can't download ringtones -- what's up with that? I had big plans involving 50 Cent's "What Up Gangsta" and "In Da Club" and Biggie's "One More Chance". I can, however, record sounds to use as a ring. I expect hilarity to ensue. Or at the very least, public embarassment.

EDIT: Holyfckingjesusjoseph&mary. My phone came pre-programmed with a ringtone version of that song "your body is a wonderland." Words can't express how horrified this makes me.

Lickity lick not too quick, it's a slick ride, make my mink slide

I wish queers wouldn't sell themselves short when it comes to books and art in general. No piece has to represent everyone's experience. We're allowed to have several books and perspectives and views on the same subject. Hell, straight white men have tens of thousands of words and images on any given tiny aspect of life, and we're lucky if we get something mentioned in passing in a random chapter of a mediocre novel or health book or onscreen for one scene in a movie.

Somewhat understandably, perhaps the effort to be so global in reach comes from the limited resources and outlets, wanting to make good use of the tiny slice of time or exposure they're getting from the larger pie. But I'm sometimes more inclined to think the impulse is self-imposed, that there's a desire to be the model queer, the one who delivers the message to the masses and explains it all. The hero, the glorious messenger, the big gay missing link.

I hope I never feel compelled to be a model queer. Which is not to say that I believe one can pull that whole "I never asked to be a role model!" line that happens when people get famous. I wish celebrity and fame were talked about more as a psychological phenomenon and where and why the compulsion comes from.

In unrelated news, except for the fact that it involves sex which by proxy is always linked to both queers and celebrities, I just realized today for the first time in a year that one of my supervisor's initials are "CBT".