I'm afraid of Americans....I'm afraid I can't help it.

In case anyone is curious, here are the answers to last Friday's lyrics poll.

1. Yesterday's a dream, I face the morning crying on a breeze, the pain is calling

Barry Manilow's Mandy

2. She is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness. She rules her life like a fine skylark, and when the sky is starless...

Fleetwood Mac's Rhiannon

3. What should I do? Grab a blunt or a brew? Grab a .22 and run out there and put this fcking violence in you?

Wu-Tang Clan's I Can't Go to Sleep

4. I only tell you this cause I'm easy to get rid of, but not if you fall in love

Magnetic Fields's Absolutely Cuckoo

5. In the corners of my mind, I just can't seem to find a reason to believe that I can break free

Mary Mary's Shackles (Praise You)

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kaileo got every single question correct. He obviously cheated. Bunches of you got 4 out of 5 correct -- too many for me to list individually but congratulations anyway. Your certificate of achievement is in the mail.

Y'all don't want me here, you just wanna dance

My brain is overwhelming me with ridiculous self-help sayings that originate from honest attempts at psychological aid, in addition to parodies of such earnestness and even my own catalog of catch phrases (e.g. everything from Dr. Phil to Stuart Smalley to "put the lady down"). Mostly because I'm trying to talk myself out of what I'm feeling, which never really works. Better to just ride it out. And keep listening to contemporary gospel music. Yeah, I don't know either, but far be it from me to question what feels right in the moment.

Though sometimes it's amusing the level of inappropriate things one thinks in this stage, and by "one" I mean me. It's tempting to write them down and mail them to myself as a reminder, but of what? My journal is already filled with inane details, all the way to the brim with meaningless words, and I'm not trying to be self-deprecating, it's more about microcosm/macrocosm -- my pithy remarks on a book or conversation don't mean much in the grand scheme of not only my life but the universe in general. But I like having a record of the meaningless to supplement the record of the meaningful. Mostly because I never know which is which until it's all over. What part of today will I remember next week or next year? None of it? All of it? Kicking Sophie out of bed in my sleep, though being woken by up by the sound of her falling out of the bed and onto the trunk? Being scared awake again because a scrub brush fell into the tub and rattled around loudly at 7:45 am? The bitter cold and snow of what feels like the first real day of winter? Hashing out hurt feelings and missunderstandings with my partner over e-mail? The deja vu work conflict gossip between work staff? Or something else that will happen this evening?

Maybe only my new "gay jeans" will survive this day. Maybe after work I'll go back and buy a second pair because I'm anticipating wearing them everyday for the next month or so. Maybe there's no existential lesson for today.