Jun. 18th, 2004

raybear: (mr. lunch)
Alright, so that workshop didn't last very long and now I have 45 minutes to kill until my free lasagna dinner. My preferred activity would have been chatting with [livejournal.com profile] dommeyourass but I could only get her for 5 minutes because she was in the middle of rehearsal.

Even though the past 6 months have been some of the most intense and changing in my life, coming back to school makes it feel like only two days have passed. I blame Los Angeles. It's a strange town. I drove around with MFABFF for three hours in the middle of the day and visited a mall and bought a book I won't have time to read until I'm 53.

I have no idea what day it is. Or what meal I'm supposed to be eating because I don't know what time of day it is. I suspect these feelings will continue for the next 8 days. I also have lots of reading to do before Sunday. And a mentor evaluation to write which I completely forgot about. Right I just want to sleep except I'm wired and hyper and talking incessantly to people from school. The crash will come soon -- perhaps in the middle of my free lasagna dinner.

Did I mention that I was at O'Hare airport yesterday evening for over four hours last night? And I went in nearly every bookstore there, even though they are all the same (W.H. Smith or Hudson News) and therefore carry the exact same books but I went in all of them anyway, just in case. I also kept seeing that damned cover of Entertainment Weekly with Tom Hanks on the cover because he's in a movie about a man living an airport terminal and I had to look away for fear of it going crazy from him mocking me. Spending over four hours in a waiting room area with only limited scenary is strange. Time passed surprisingly fast perception-wise, but my body seemed to also be fatiguing at an accelerated rate. So I felt several days older in the course of an hour. I think my ipod was the only thing keeping me sane. I kept checking my phone, thinking about calling someone to help pass the time, but was completely incapable of even forming thoughts that would lead to sentences. I tried to read but my head hurt. So it was me and the ipod and my fear of the battery draining prematurely which it luckily never did.

I slept pretty much the entire four hour flight which was a bit surreal. I went to bed in Memphis and woke up in Hollywood, is the lyric I keep thinking of. I also woke up extremely dehydrated from missing both rounds of the beverage carts. I also started an essay in my dreams about the evolutionary effect of our bodies moving at 530 mph when we weren't designed to handle such stress. I never finished writing it.

I went into a bookstore today and they didn't have the book I wanted and they asked if they could order it and I was about to say "I don't live here" but realized I would be here long enough to go back and pick it up. For some reason, this made me feel connect to this city more than I was even after sleeping in her air for two weeks in December.

I hate the smog and heat of the valley. I love the cold ocean air of the marine. I didn't realize I missed the ocean until I caught a glimpse and now I want to make plans for hooky to go out and see her.

It's school and it's intense but it's still a vacation.

May 2010

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