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I just want my friend back.
Aug. 23rd, 2005 07:18 pmWHAT am I still doing here? I've spent nearly all damn day here in this office, on this computer, and it's driving me nuts, that kind of spiralling out of control crazy where you think it's some big thing that's been building up for days or week or months, because it gets all dram-a-rama, but really it's just the resulting anxiety of 8 hours in front of a computer screen? I swear, that isht gives off unhealthy crazy-making radiation. I mean, if I'm doing something, it's different, it creates a shield, but if I'm just sitting here passive, receiving all this fcked up electromagnetic waves.....
[What the hell is he talking about?]
I've done so close to nothing it's ridiculous. Well not nothing. I started up so many damn different IM conversations on the various platforms that I couldn't even respond to half the people talking to me. I finally figured out how to download ringtones. I had a brief conversation about the california roadtrip that might not be happening anymore because of cost. Add all that up, and it's pretty close to nothing.
So of course I make a livejournal entry because I feel the need to purge, by way of confession. By splattering my guilt out there publicly so that I'll finally do something. I just finished my dinner of pears and cottage cheese, chosen partly because it required no effort and also because it didn't dirty up many dishes. Now, right this second, well, right after pushing the update button, I'm going to listen to my news programs while finally dealing with the piles of clothes in the office and hopefully some of the piles of papers and other crap as well. I'm not even going to pretend to put "writing" on the to-do list of the evening because I'll just stare at it and resent it. It's such a ridiculous line between deciding to write and deciding I should write. I can say "I'm going to go home and write for an hour" and I can actually do it. But if I think, "oh I should probably go home and write", I'm doomed.
But i better write sometime soon because otherwise i'm going to lost my isht. Damn, I already lost capitalization in that last sentence. It's all going to hell.
Maybe someone should just pick me on their vespa and take me to get fried chicken. 'Cause that was pretty damn fun last night, even if we did exceed the weight limit. Also, Six Feet Under season 4 should arrive in the mail tomorrow. It's good to have goals.
[What the hell is he talking about?]
I've done so close to nothing it's ridiculous. Well not nothing. I started up so many damn different IM conversations on the various platforms that I couldn't even respond to half the people talking to me. I finally figured out how to download ringtones. I had a brief conversation about the california roadtrip that might not be happening anymore because of cost. Add all that up, and it's pretty close to nothing.
So of course I make a livejournal entry because I feel the need to purge, by way of confession. By splattering my guilt out there publicly so that I'll finally do something. I just finished my dinner of pears and cottage cheese, chosen partly because it required no effort and also because it didn't dirty up many dishes. Now, right this second, well, right after pushing the update button, I'm going to listen to my news programs while finally dealing with the piles of clothes in the office and hopefully some of the piles of papers and other crap as well. I'm not even going to pretend to put "writing" on the to-do list of the evening because I'll just stare at it and resent it. It's such a ridiculous line between deciding to write and deciding I should write. I can say "I'm going to go home and write for an hour" and I can actually do it. But if I think, "oh I should probably go home and write", I'm doomed.
But i better write sometime soon because otherwise i'm going to lost my isht. Damn, I already lost capitalization in that last sentence. It's all going to hell.
Maybe someone should just pick me on their vespa and take me to get fried chicken. 'Cause that was pretty damn fun last night, even if we did exceed the weight limit. Also, Six Feet Under season 4 should arrive in the mail tomorrow. It's good to have goals.
