![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm listening to a song called Mojo Pin and it makes me think, maybe that's what happened, I've somehow lost the Mojo Pin so it's leaked out. Or does that how a Mojo Pin works? I don't know. Today is the day where I'm pulling out all these CDs I would play on repeat while depressed in college and it's partly therapeutic but maybe partly exacerbating. Who can tell anymore. It's a little unfortunate that the sky is blue today and the sun is shining, because I am hiding in the cave of my office with the door shut and only the ambient light of multi-colored xmas lights that I strung up on the window this weekend. They are gauche and I love them, as I have always loved multi-colored strings of lights, despite the clean classiness of single-color strands of light. I think a lot about things I love that I'm not "supposed" to for sundry reasons, and the list includes things like Charlie Daniels Band "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and the movie Monster-in-Law and my mother and father. The latter who sent a distressing e-mail to me on Sunday morning. Perhaps that is redundant. All of their e-mails distress me, either for what they say or what they don't say.
Damn, see, now I'm having thing where I catch myself writing about work, except its about my family, and I don't want to write about it, or rather, I don't want to go back and look at my journal entries and just see observations on that. I already don't want to go back five minutes after I posted it and look at this entry and have it bum me out because I mentioned the same old repetitive bullisht about blah blah parents blah blah trauma blah blah. Now I know why I haven't been posting much lately. I keep trying to think of the thousand other stories of my day and I blank out. It's like, I'm in my life when it's happening, and then as soon as there's a break, I get sucked back down.
Which is why I hung xmas lights in my office. And I lie on my couch and stare at them while listening to Lester Young and burn some incense, and it feels good. I'll get up at some point and walk to the library before work. Cause I can certainly improve my self-care, but lately I'm thinking, I'm actually pretty good at it cause otherwise I might never leave the house.
Maybe I'll go back to Kuma's and eat more bbq pork cheese fries. Except I think they won't taste as good without![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mintwaster's envious stares while I'm eating.
Damn, see, now I'm having thing where I catch myself writing about work, except its about my family, and I don't want to write about it, or rather, I don't want to go back and look at my journal entries and just see observations on that. I already don't want to go back five minutes after I posted it and look at this entry and have it bum me out because I mentioned the same old repetitive bullisht about blah blah parents blah blah trauma blah blah. Now I know why I haven't been posting much lately. I keep trying to think of the thousand other stories of my day and I blank out. It's like, I'm in my life when it's happening, and then as soon as there's a break, I get sucked back down.
Which is why I hung xmas lights in my office. And I lie on my couch and stare at them while listening to Lester Young and burn some incense, and it feels good. I'll get up at some point and walk to the library before work. Cause I can certainly improve my self-care, but lately I'm thinking, I'm actually pretty good at it cause otherwise I might never leave the house.
Maybe I'll go back to Kuma's and eat more bbq pork cheese fries. Except I think they won't taste as good without
mintwaster's envious stares while I'm eating.
