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So that big long process of yesterday I can essentially just scratch out, because one of the people on my short list turns out to be a friend of DYA's who also did some work for us at the house, so I already know she's capable and smart and reliable. I didn't actually recognize her when she applied, as I knew her nickname, not her given name.
So today instead of fussing with that, I pretty much spent the whole time downloading more music. I think I did some other stuff, but hell if I can remember it at all. The end result is my shuffle is entirely filled up with new music, over 200 songs, and I call this playlist "Stick A Pitchfork In My Heart, I'm Done" as it turns out to feature many darling albums of the Pitchfork best new music list. It wasn't totally intentional, I was getting some new music based on recommendations by others, but when I was googling around to find track listings to make sure I'd gotten the entire album, I kept coming across the information that it was "highly rated" by Pitchfork or featured on the "Best New Music" list, and so when that happened 2-3 times, I finally went directly to Pitchfork and ended up reading some reviews and finding a few more albums to add. I spent so much time clicking the mouse today, my wrist got sore. I forgot to eat lunch. People were trying to call me (including my father!!) but my phone was in the car from the night before and I hadn't managed to go get it yet. Finally at 1:30, DYA came home early from work and snapped me out of my haze and I ate a bowl of soup and showered and dressed and made it out the door.
When I first saw that my father called, he was listed twice and there were multiple voicemails, I was briefly convinced that my mother was dead. No, he just called a second time to leave his cell phone number in case I didn't have it. I think this phone call was a response to an e-mail I sent last week, that is perhaps the beginning of a campaign to somewhat 'normalize' relations between us (I mean that in a good way, or at least in a way that is real about expectations, and it isn't constantly painful and disappointing and upending, and maybe in the process, some healing could actually occur). But you know, who knows, maybe its just the same, couple times a year basic check-in. Oh, and I forgot to say, one of my favorite parts of voicemails from my father is that he signs off saying "Love you. Dad." He literally says that, like its a letter or e-mail. I fcking love it!
I decided that this week was a "bye". Well, it sounds better to say a "rebuilding" week, but that's a term more often used to desribe an entire season/year, and its not that deep. No, this week was just a hey, maybe its okay to spend several days where my primary existence throughout the day is going to my rent-job and listening to music and working obsessively on two mixes for people. Or maybe its just my hormones kicked in. I realized on Wednesday that I couldn't remember the last time I gave myself a shot, so that probably means I'm overdue.
So my mom isn't dead, my father called and it's not the end of the world, I'm listening to lots of indie pop mixed with Prodigy and Phraroahe Monch's new CDs, it's Friday. I'm at work, wearing my plaid pants because I had no jeans clean, sweaty from the bike ride, and ready for 7 o'clock when I'm meeting up with DYA and Jyldo to see the Redmoon show. And I'm singing more karaoke tomorrow night. But right now, this crossword puzzle won't work itself out, so I better get on it.
So today instead of fussing with that, I pretty much spent the whole time downloading more music. I think I did some other stuff, but hell if I can remember it at all. The end result is my shuffle is entirely filled up with new music, over 200 songs, and I call this playlist "Stick A Pitchfork In My Heart, I'm Done" as it turns out to feature many darling albums of the Pitchfork best new music list. It wasn't totally intentional, I was getting some new music based on recommendations by others, but when I was googling around to find track listings to make sure I'd gotten the entire album, I kept coming across the information that it was "highly rated" by Pitchfork or featured on the "Best New Music" list, and so when that happened 2-3 times, I finally went directly to Pitchfork and ended up reading some reviews and finding a few more albums to add. I spent so much time clicking the mouse today, my wrist got sore. I forgot to eat lunch. People were trying to call me (including my father!!) but my phone was in the car from the night before and I hadn't managed to go get it yet. Finally at 1:30, DYA came home early from work and snapped me out of my haze and I ate a bowl of soup and showered and dressed and made it out the door.
When I first saw that my father called, he was listed twice and there were multiple voicemails, I was briefly convinced that my mother was dead. No, he just called a second time to leave his cell phone number in case I didn't have it. I think this phone call was a response to an e-mail I sent last week, that is perhaps the beginning of a campaign to somewhat 'normalize' relations between us (I mean that in a good way, or at least in a way that is real about expectations, and it isn't constantly painful and disappointing and upending, and maybe in the process, some healing could actually occur). But you know, who knows, maybe its just the same, couple times a year basic check-in. Oh, and I forgot to say, one of my favorite parts of voicemails from my father is that he signs off saying "Love you. Dad." He literally says that, like its a letter or e-mail. I fcking love it!
I decided that this week was a "bye". Well, it sounds better to say a "rebuilding" week, but that's a term more often used to desribe an entire season/year, and its not that deep. No, this week was just a hey, maybe its okay to spend several days where my primary existence throughout the day is going to my rent-job and listening to music and working obsessively on two mixes for people. Or maybe its just my hormones kicked in. I realized on Wednesday that I couldn't remember the last time I gave myself a shot, so that probably means I'm overdue.
So my mom isn't dead, my father called and it's not the end of the world, I'm listening to lots of indie pop mixed with Prodigy and Phraroahe Monch's new CDs, it's Friday. I'm at work, wearing my plaid pants because I had no jeans clean, sweaty from the bike ride, and ready for 7 o'clock when I'm meeting up with DYA and Jyldo to see the Redmoon show. And I'm singing more karaoke tomorrow night. But right now, this crossword puzzle won't work itself out, so I better get on it.
