Please be true, please be true, please be true.

November 30, 2007. It's happened. MediaTakeOut.com has EXCLUSIVELY learned that Queen Latifah and her longtime girlfriend Jeanette are OFFICIALLY ENGAGED!!! The two women have been in a relationship for more than 4 years - and they've finally decided to make it official.

And there's more. MediaTakeOut.com can confirm that the two are planning on PUBLICLY coming out to the world about their engagement. Word is that once Queen Latifah's finished promoting her current movie, The Perfect Holiday an announcement will be made.

MediaTakeOut.com can't reveal our source to this story, but we can tell you that we're 100% sure on this one. And we can also tell you that ABSOLUTELY NO ONE in the media (no magazines, no bloggers, no TV stations, no radio personalities - NO ONE) else is reporting this story right now. We figured we'd share this info with you guys first - our nearly 2 million closest friends...

All of my heroes did dope.

When I stepped on the train today, every passenger was sleeping except this one guy, who was kinda staring at me. For a moment, I thought there was a gas leak. Or that the one guy awake has somehow gone around and poisoned all the other passengers between stops. Then I decided to stare out the window instead of constructing gruesome fantasies, and the guy got up at the next stop and I realized that he was probably gay and was trying to figure out if I was probably gay too. Probably, I am.

I have two follow-up reports.

Number one: bacon salt. This morning I had a poached egg on toast, with bacon salt sprinkled on top. It was ok. Maybe my expectations were too high. It didn't really taste like bacon, though definitely more than maybe bacos taste like bacon. However, I did enjoy it as a spice concoction. I think it will be most amazing in things like collard greens and black-eyed peas, and maybe even added to cornbread mix or macaroni and cheese, too. I still have "peppered" bacon salt and "hickory smoke" bacon salt to try, and maybe I will love them more. I also bought some french fries at the store today -- I want to try bacon-salted popcorn too. On the whole, I would say this is a welcome addition to the spice cabinet, but not so amazing that I would insist everyone I know go buy it. If you are curious about it, I will gladly give you some to try and you can see for yourself, just bring over a little baggie when you come to my house.

Number two: the Y. I officially joined today, at the Lakeview location. I felt a bit overwhelmed by this Y, partly because its really difficult to find the exercise room with all the machines. Once I found it, I was fine. It was also a bit overstimulating, because they had large screen tvs, playing different shows with captions (or you could tune your headphones to an FM channel to hear it) but there was also music piped in, as well as just the general mechanical sounds of all those treadmills and whatnot. I had my ipod on and had to turn it up kinda loud to drown things out. I also saw a lot of naked men today. Mostly they were walking by me, or I was walking by them, it was quick, but at the end of my workout, I went to my locker and of course, right across from me was a naked man with his leg up on the bench, rubbing himself down with lotion. I get really awkward around strange naked men, because of course I want to look at their bodies (and their penises). Except I don't want to look. But I can't help it. Except I make myself not look. Except then I sneak a peek.

This is where its more noticeable in my reactions to things that I didn't grow up a guy. I would have had more experience with this by now. You could put me in a room of women in various states of undress and I would feel, for the most part, perfectly fine and comfortable with my ability to not-look or at least look very briefly and surreptitiously. And most importantly, to not blush while doing it.