Slashed her wrists, bored with life
May. 22nd, 2002 12:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearDidn't succeed, thank the Lord for small mercies
Today I'm Catching up with Depeche Mode -- the tape was also on sale along with James Ingram. I can trace a lot of things on Depeche Mode: my love for New Wave (and subsequent burntout), my 'instinctual' spelling of rumour and humour and other words that look better with the letter U, my ability to both speak and sing with a somewhat decent British accent (for an untrained American southerner), and probably my gay-ness, among other random bits.
I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
I had lots of random records and tapes off the radio and tapes of my brother's albums (who's the real Space Ager), but the first actual tapes of albums I bought with my own money wasn't until 1989 when I bought Dionne Warwick's "Friends" and Depeche Mode's "Music for the Masses" and Tracy Chapman's self-titled album. I almost got the the Back to the Future soundtrack tape but ended up passing on it. I think those three tapes say a lot about my eventual music phases and current taste.
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
I remember buying Depeche Mode's double album 101 with a Turtle's gold coin (which was a gift certificate for 10 dollars, I believe). When I later revealed to my friend who also had the album about my purchase, she labelled me a 'follower'. This was not the first time I had been deemed this label -- I spent most of that year in school being the nerdy lame friend in a group of 'popular' preppy kids -- but this accusation was just too much. In some ways, it was the beginning of the end of my fascination with this group of petty shallow back-biting folks that I desperately wanted to like me. This particulat person's older brother also ridiculed me for liking the Indigo Girls and called them the "Blue Dykes". This accusation would later get levelled by peers, but they tended to wear Motley Crue shirts and spike their hair along the part.
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing
In the grand scheme of my life, I think 1989 was pretty life-changing year. Or at least, extremely memorable and a touchstone for future events. I had my first boyfriend. I started doing theater. I joined the church youth group. All this minor stuff that I've never really looked back on and thought, hey, if Sam every wanted to Quantum Leap into me, that would be a year to do it. Not that I'm thinking about what should have happpened differently -- I'm actually resolved and comfortable with everything that went down. But as far as subtle life-changing events, that's the year.
Found new life in Jesus Christ
Maybe if I hadn't purchased that Dionne tape, I wouldn't be the man I am today.
Today I'm Catching up with Depeche Mode -- the tape was also on sale along with James Ingram. I can trace a lot of things on Depeche Mode: my love for New Wave (and subsequent burntout), my 'instinctual' spelling of rumour and humour and other words that look better with the letter U, my ability to both speak and sing with a somewhat decent British accent (for an untrained American southerner), and probably my gay-ness, among other random bits.
I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
I had lots of random records and tapes off the radio and tapes of my brother's albums (who's the real Space Ager), but the first actual tapes of albums I bought with my own money wasn't until 1989 when I bought Dionne Warwick's "Friends" and Depeche Mode's "Music for the Masses" and Tracy Chapman's self-titled album. I almost got the the Back to the Future soundtrack tape but ended up passing on it. I think those three tapes say a lot about my eventual music phases and current taste.
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
I remember buying Depeche Mode's double album 101 with a Turtle's gold coin (which was a gift certificate for 10 dollars, I believe). When I later revealed to my friend who also had the album about my purchase, she labelled me a 'follower'. This was not the first time I had been deemed this label -- I spent most of that year in school being the nerdy lame friend in a group of 'popular' preppy kids -- but this accusation was just too much. In some ways, it was the beginning of the end of my fascination with this group of petty shallow back-biting folks that I desperately wanted to like me. This particulat person's older brother also ridiculed me for liking the Indigo Girls and called them the "Blue Dykes". This accusation would later get levelled by peers, but they tended to wear Motley Crue shirts and spike their hair along the part.
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing
In the grand scheme of my life, I think 1989 was pretty life-changing year. Or at least, extremely memorable and a touchstone for future events. I had my first boyfriend. I started doing theater. I joined the church youth group. All this minor stuff that I've never really looked back on and thought, hey, if Sam every wanted to Quantum Leap into me, that would be a year to do it. Not that I'm thinking about what should have happpened differently -- I'm actually resolved and comfortable with everything that went down. But as far as subtle life-changing events, that's the year.
Found new life in Jesus Christ
Maybe if I hadn't purchased that Dionne tape, I wouldn't be the man I am today.
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no subject
Date: 2002-05-22 11:10 am (UTC)Ah memories.
It seems strange to me and kind of horrible that I look back on my life during the eighties as supremely innocent. I was hanging out with goth kids and going through my "ethical nihilist" phase when I wasn't running wild in gay bars. The world then seemed so fundamentally fucked up to me - amazing to see how much more fucked up it can get.
But at least I finally know where -I- fit into it more.
So wanna grab some Zig Zag papers, black hair dye and come over to my house and listen to tapes for old times sake? *laugh*
no subject
Date: 2002-05-22 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-22 11:19 am (UTC)i just discovered depeshe mode two years ago.
haha
no subject
Date: 2002-05-22 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-22 12:42 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-05-22 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-22 12:08 pm (UTC)i've never had much of an instinct for music--instead i've acquired a very eclectic mix of tastes from hearing stuff various friends listened to. back then, my gang were a crowd of smart, geeky, (with some exceptions) privileged goth- and punk-nerds. the kind who claimed nihilism and rebellion, and who did well in school and were super-involved in theater and other geeky extracurriculars.
depeche mode and the cure hold up well on later listens. while i still know *all* the words to pretty hate machine, it strikes me as pretty damn whiny these days.