raybear | I loves me kitty.

Things I should probably be doing:
laundry....vacuuming....putting away piles of records....going out to the Hideout to see a friend's gig

What I'm doing instead:
Eating a couple chocolate chip cookies for dinner....Watching Will & Grace....playing inside ball with Sophie....remaining stationary on the futon. Unable. to. move.

I did manage to have a phone conversation with Newspaper Journalist Friend (that's KR to you,

wearemany), who I haven't spoken to in, oh, maybe 6 months. Turns out she met The Other Lesbian (see

limenal's journal) at a softball game and TOL is working at the old firm where Newspaper Journalist Friend's girlfriend (aka CuteLawSchoolGirl) was once employed. Confused? Let's just say apparantly Columbus, Ohio is the current focal point of it being a small, small world, baby.

My brain is so fried from work these days, and I don't really feel like I'm even working that hard but perhaps it just comes from having to be "on" all the time in front of the interns constantly floating around. I did have a lovely bonding train ride with Michigan Legal Intern where we talked about being driven crazy by a couple of the other interns -- one of them is only 19, but she doesn't really have any pretentions about her experience and age, while the other two are at that weird period that occurs with most folks between the ages of 18-24 (that crazy tv demographic group) where they've had enough life experience to act more savvy and wise and knowledgable yet they still don't quite grasp that they're missing several catalogs of experience.

Now I'm sure you're thinking wait, isn't his ass only 2 weeks shy of being 25 years of age? Well I never said I didn't go through this same phase or occasionally fall prey to the same condition. And I'm sure in a couple years I've have some other wise(ass) introspection about why I act the way I do now.

A long time ago I had goals set for mysef -- do this by age 21, be this by age 25, have this by age 30. Occasionally I still get freaked out that I'm trying to get into the music game too late, but for the most part I don't have too much expectation for myself. I don't devote too much time and energy into ideas such as owning a house, making a set amount of money, living in a certain town, being in a specific type of relationship. They have meaning for me, but not necessarily in a traditional way, nor am I hung up on making a particular one happen by a certain date.

Then I fear that my lack of goals is really about my lack of ambition, and I'll wake up one day and be 45 and not necessarily much farther from the couch than I am now. Which is not to say I believe that age to be "too late" -- it's more that I'm concerned I'll waste many years not doing things for no good reason.

I think my cell phone is ringing, but it sounds quite distant and I'm not sure where it's located. Perhaps it's MelRo on her way home from dinner, or Shana inquiring about my whereabouts.

I'm completely paralyzed from the neck up. Or maybe I'm just thoroughly enjoying this first moment of complete alone time since last week sometime. The amount of houseguests and people over in the past 5 days (and in the future 3 days) may surpass all previous personal records. And I love very person who steps through the threshold of my apartment, but you know what? There are no orgies in my apartment, there's relatively little drinking, and sadly very little recreational drugs. There's lots of music videos and ice cream and sitting on the futon and maybe if you're lucky I'll tell a wicked funny story or get in one great remark that will make me laugh harder than anyone else in the room. But that's about it. That's the extent of

raybear's social life, so don't come knocking if you want anything more. I rarely even play records when people are around.

Speaking of, maybe I'll go make a mixtape

I loves me kitty.

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