raybear: (Default)
raybear ([personal profile] raybear) wrote2001-05-03 09:46 am

(no subject)

Why do I get so obsessive about discussions with people I don't know? Don't get me wrong -- I'm enjoying the majority of the discussion, but I get so easily perturbed and snotty about people trying to join the discourse who don't know what's actually being discussed. There's a place for those explanations, but not DURING the discussions. It's such a white way of thinking, to demand that something be explained/justified to you.

And for some reason, I started thinking of the play "Death and the Maiden", where at the end, the female lead is so enraged about her inability to exact revenge on her torturer, and her frustration about why it's always the responsibility of the opressed person to stop the cycle, and take the higher ground.

I need to stop getting angry so quickly, because I know it's not an effective way to dialogue with people. But sometimes, I don't even want to talk to them, if I'm not in the mood to "educate".

i understand...

[identity profile] clockwatcher.livejournal.com 2001-05-03 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
the danger with discussions in a public forum is you think you're having an "insider" discussion and then someone comes along who doesn't understand the base assumptions you are all making and turns it into something completely different about what you have against straight people... which is totally not what the discussion was about and makes you have to explain something rather than exploring new and interesting ideas. it's frustrating and i just chose to ignore it.

or is that what you were talking about?

jessie.

Yep.

[identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com 2001-05-03 08:08 am (UTC)(link)
That's exactly what I'm talking about. I posted in general terms, since it's not the first time it's happened, nor will it probably be the last.

You're right to ignore it, and I probably should too. But sometimes I get mad that people think they have the "right" to participate in something they don't understand. Perhaps I should just reduce my responses to "That is not the correct topic, please only participate if you understand what's being discussed. Thank you for you interest in this matter." : P

p.s.

[identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com 2001-05-03 08:10 am (UTC)(link)
I also posted a bitchy comment in Fairlee99's journal -- not TO her of course, but to one of the ignorant comment-makers. I probably managed to completely alienate the person, but oh well.