A Day In the Life of Aaron Austin, Amateur Porn Star

[raybear]

I'm fairly new to gay porn (videos at least) and I'm quite fascinated with the fact that all the bottoms are super hot and the tops are....eh. Just okay. Maybe it really is true that it's hard to find good tops. I'm also wondering if it's analagous to the whole "attractive women/ugly men" dynamic in hetero porn. I don't necessarily agree with this assessment since I'm rarely that attracted to the women anyway, and sometimes the men are so weird-looking that their hot (yeah, I know, we've covered this).

But I'm wondering too if it has to do with the concept of gaze -- bottoms are fighting to be seen by tops, to win their gaze, their affection, their desire to fuck.

I'm not sure where I fit into. Sure, I'm a top, but I tend to desire being a bottom with men more. Perhaps that's why I feel more comfortable in the bear community -- the gazers have a different standard, one where size and natural beauty are valued. But then I fear I'm not even hot enough by bear standards -- not hairy enough or not big enough in the proper ways. At least I feel like I'm in the same ballpark though -- sometimes among pretty gym queen hairless boys I feel like an entirely different species.

Comments

[myloveisrobotic.livejournal.com]

::Spartan cheer::

I. CAN. RELATE.

yep. I want to be more a part of bear culture sometimes, but I don't like the uber-machismo thing it seems to push. and well, we don't even have to discuss the chelsea boy syndrome in relation to me :-p

xo dillon

[danielray.livejournal.com]

yeah, really. like: where does one find the chill, low-attitude, interesting, cute gay men of varied appearance and size configurations? does such a mythological beast exist?

[raybear.livejournal.com]

in chicago, at my new film discussion group. i hope. :P

[prettyboi.livejournal.com]

At the Oceanside Jazzercise Center, but there's only one. o_O

[raybear.livejournal.com]

we should start a group of urban geeky bears -- the less outdoorsy nerdy version without the macho-ness.

here! here!

[brothernumber3.livejournal.com]

i second this entirely. i would join

[hissyfit.livejournal.com]

you know, everyone i know thinks you're hot. definately do-able, indeed.