raybear | Killing time on Maple Drive

I know, I know, I should be moving files around in the cabinets and making room for all the new cases, but why when I've decided I should make a list of my random pet peeves/personality quirks? This will be repetitive to some, and maybe a learning experience for others. Don't hold anything against me too hard.

Numbered, but not in choronological or order of importance. I often define these as problems because it tends to make me grossly overreact.

1. People eating food off my plate. This was recently discussed in my household because of incidents at a restaurant. I have no problem with sharing my food, but there must be some sort of verbal acknowledgment -- either asking me for a bite, or even making a joke about stealing food off my plate, because even a small crack like "hey look over there" and stealing a fry is a warning and an indication that you're doing something with implicit permission. If you're my friend, I'll be mildly freaked out and annoyed. If I don't know you, I might stab your hand with my fork.

2. Use of the word "ghetto" in non-sociological discussion, and other extreme words for minor situations. Most folks know I hate hate hate when people label something 'ghetto' instead of calling it what it is: cheap, broken, neglected, downtrodden, old, etc. etc. But I also hate when people use other extremely loaded words in minor situations. Like if someone says "don't be a Nazi about the M&M's" or "people who don't use their turn signal are retarded" or "make a decision and stop acting so schizophrenic". Sure, I get accused of political correctness at times, (which seems sort of ridiculous anyway since the majority of the world sees nothing wrong with such language, so wouldn't that mean the speaker is being politically correct?) but as a grammar nerd, I also hate that it's so horribly inaccurate and indicates the person often has no understanding of what the word means anyway. I understand the point is to make a clever metaphor, but it's often neither.

3. Things touching my teeth that aren't food or tongues. If you ever wanted to torture me, rub a towel across my teeth. I'm not sure how exactly I discovered this horrible sensation, probably just some random morning while drying myself off after a shower, but I can't stand the squeaking. The sensation of a skin rubbing against the face of my teeth is bad too -- I like sinking my teeth into things, including flesh, but I'm more talking about the flat part of the tooth that faces outward, not the edge used for biting. I also have problems when people tell stories about dental issues, because I can feel it happening in my own mouth.
4. People unable to make small talk. This is sort of a bad one to have, but I can't help it -- it drives me crazy if I'm a social situation like a party or meeting friends of friends and I'm facing someone who doesn't make eye contact with me and is unable to ask basic conversation questions like 'what do you do' or 'where are you from' or 'how do you know so-and-so'. I feel bad about this pet peeve sometimes because I know over half the time it's caused by shyness or social anxiety, but come on now -- we're all adults at this point and while people could get away with the behavior in high school and even college, I think it's no longer acceptable. How do these people get by in the world and what will they do when they meet the family of the person they're dating? This is also related to people who make me do all the work in a conversation -- I ask questions after question after questions and they respond very politely with near one-word answers, but don't seem to be putting any additional effort into the matter.

5. Backing down on an opinion after someone else disagrees with you. I'm guilty of doing this, and I annoy myself when it happens. And sadly enough, I get mad when someone does it to me -- I counter their claim that some movie is amazing or that some CD is great, and they immediately backpedal and amend their opinion. I know sometimes this is my own fault, because I can be way too brash or opinionated, and I don't necessarily get mad the first time it happens, but it's more when it happens repeatedly -- I don't like having conversations with people who constantly just cave in to whatever I say. I enjoy a good debate or conversation on our differing opinions. I just need to learn to be kinder about it sometimes, just like I needed to learn to not back down when it happened to me.

6. Bad e-mailers and IMers. If I write you a 5 paragraph note, don't send back three sentences and expect it to be equal. And don't write me back a month later and ask how I've been because you haven't heard from me in awhile. Also, don't IM me if you're going to just barely respond to my inquiries and not instigate any conversation at all. This is probably related to number four, it's just the online version.

7. Excessive compliments and gushing. Sure, I love to be told how fabulous I am as much as the next person, but if it gets to the point of hollow praise or seems more like a ploy to make me like the person back, I instantly get creeped out and overreact. I also dislike the use of compliments as an alternative to an apology -- I'd rather someone said they were sorry for doing or saying whatever, instead of them coming up to me after the fact and being extra nice as a way to make amends. Though I'm not necessarily put off by making niceties AND an apology. Sometimes you gotta grease the wheels.

8. Drunk strangers. (I don't talk about this one much.) This is probably why I don't like bars, because most people there are strangers and they're getting drunk. I'm not exactly sure why this makes me anxious and upset, but I have zero tolerance for it. If I'm drunk too, it's not as bad, and if the drunk people are friends of mine, I'm usually okay. This is probably why I often avoid sporting events and other large celebratory crowds. I genuinely get upset and agitated when I'm forced to engage with strangers who are drunk -- I usually act hastily and vehemently and get away as quickly as possible.

9. Spending so much time shirking that I become physically incapable of doing work. Maybe I should go complete more than one work task this morning so I won't get annoyed with myself.