raybear | And the papers want to know whose shirt you wear.

I went to bed early and woke up somewhat refreshed, though extemely anxious and nervous about tonight. I don't mind a touch of these things before a gig because it makes me feel excited and aware and (turned) on, but this is my-doctor-says-mylanta anxiety, which I'm not too fond of. So instead of getting dressed for the gig later, I decided to wear my shirt at work all day to prepare myself. It's a tight-fitting long sleeve wide collar shiny shirt made of space-age polymers, dark blue background with babyblue/white repeating pattern that resembles the headboard of a hotel bed Miami in 1987. To be a fabulous DJ, you must have a fabulous shirt. Getting lots of compliments from various co-workers is nice too.

This morning I put on my coat and checked out how the collar was looking in the mirror. I had a "damn, I want to jump you moment" which helped relax me as well. Then I put on my hat and huge headphones and plugged in my melancholy tape. Strange, I know.

I only listen to music that exactly matches my mood about half the time. Most people do this though -- they listen to happy, peppy, energetic music when they're feeling depressed or tired or sad. I do the opposite as well. I'm feeling wired and excited and confident so I'm moved to listen and agree with Beck when he says "these days I barely get by...I don't even try." Listening to happy music doesn't really change my depression, and listening to moody music doesn't really damper my happiness. Both just make the other more expansive.

But now I'm at work and I want Faith Evans to tell me I gets no love and Lil Kim to command me to wait a minute while Aaliyah asks if I'm that somebody.

Tonight's going to be fun. I'm already feeling pre-high.

Come on over if you're in Chicago.