Though my heart was tossed with longing.
May. 9th, 2003 02:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearFor those in the Chicago area, sorry if last night's thunderstorm caused you any problems -- that was partially my fault, though I assure you it was an unintentional summoning. I didn't even know it's what I was doing, but as soon as it appeared it made sense.
Last night I had this moment, a holy moment if you will, to borrow a phrase from Waking Life which nearly got ruined because I stepped outside of myself and thought "wow, I'm having a moment!" This was quickly followed by a brief moment of sadness because I knew the moment would end, unfortunately quite common -- not only the feeling of sadness but the ruination of the moment by acknowledging it. But I stopped myself and said, you're having this. It's real. You have this and people have gone an entire lifetime without this, which means I'm a lucky bastard. Even more phenomenal is that I realized how completely natural and innate it was for me to create and come to this moment with virtually no effort, so that if I were to be separated by thousands of miles for thousands of hours, I could still find it again if I just trust myself to do it on it's own.
A strange and beautiful moment of temporal enlightenment. But that's okay. More enlightenment TK, I felt like the universe was telling me.
Is there a word for experiencing something for the first time but knowing exactly what it is and how to respond or just absorb?
Last night I had this moment, a holy moment if you will, to borrow a phrase from Waking Life which nearly got ruined because I stepped outside of myself and thought "wow, I'm having a moment!" This was quickly followed by a brief moment of sadness because I knew the moment would end, unfortunately quite common -- not only the feeling of sadness but the ruination of the moment by acknowledging it. But I stopped myself and said, you're having this. It's real. You have this and people have gone an entire lifetime without this, which means I'm a lucky bastard. Even more phenomenal is that I realized how completely natural and innate it was for me to create and come to this moment with virtually no effort, so that if I were to be separated by thousands of miles for thousands of hours, I could still find it again if I just trust myself to do it on it's own.
A strange and beautiful moment of temporal enlightenment. But that's okay. More enlightenment TK, I felt like the universe was telling me.
Is there a word for experiencing something for the first time but knowing exactly what it is and how to respond or just absorb?
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Re:
Date: 2003-05-12 12:12 pm (UTC)Um... I own the movie. I dunno. I watched it the summer of my 21st year... it makes me cry. Women-singer/songwriters are like... my thang. And Matt Dillon has always made me erect. *heh*
You know what I really wanna hear -- off movie (I can't watch it too much... I start dissolving into a puddle of mush)? "Get right down to the real nitty-gritty!" -- the song they were playing when Dillon's character went walking into the ocean??? I have been hearing it in my head a lot here lately and wanting to shake my ass to it... but alas!
"I fall apart... everytime I picture you swallowed by the dark. There is no center to my life, now, no grace in my heart."
"Now I have nothing so god give me strength." -- that has to be the BEST opening line to a song ever. (ok, I'm gushing... allow it through your censors unchecked...)
So wonderful to meet other people who know and love the movie and soundtrack... So many wonderful memories are concealed within it....