![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearFirst off, thanks to folks who thought happy thought regarding Melanie aka Mel-Ro (not to be confused with J-Lo). She made it to Erie, Pennsylvania last night before dark with no problems. She left about an hour ago from her swanky over-sized meeting room at the Econo Lodge, and will hopefully make it to Vermont today without any problems.
I ran into Dy___ on the train this morning, so I got to catch up with him. One friend I can scratch off my contact list! About 15 more to go....
So one of my personal improvement activities for this summer, other than running, studying, cleaning up my apartment, is to improve my sex life by working on penetration. I never really liked or wanted pentrative sex until fairly recently. It almost coincided with coming out as trans -- one of the cases where my gender identity was affecting my sexuality because of issues of role-play, eroticization, etc. But also because I wasn't comfortable enough with my body pre-transition. Once I started to actually enjoy my body more, I was able to conceive of being fucked. Of course now that I desire the actual, I find that I still am quite the virgin in the act itself, as far as making it work well, i.e. making myself come. So part of my personal exercises involves masturbating and penetration, so that my body can adjust accordingly. I know that this isn't the weirdest thing or anything, but I feel like most people I know either really like penetration and didn't have to do much self-training, or they really don't like penetration, and so have never made an effort to engage in it. And then I know a select few who sort of made it work for them through trial and error and such. I'm sure that would happen with me -- the more I do it with my partner, the more I like it. But I'm thinking it would be sort of fun to get better acclimated to it on my own, so I can enjoy things with a partner sooner. So anyway, that's the update. I fcking masturbate so much anyway, partly because of hormones, so I could have a whole new bag of tricks by the end of the month. I'm also considering purchasing a couple new toys to aid myself. I seem to recall another time when someone I was dating left town and I decided to console myself by buying a new vibrator. Hmmm....
Ok, I need to stop talking about this stuff if I'm going to get any work done. Not a good path to start going down this early in the day -- I'll never recover my attention span.
Oh, and in regards to the co-dependent wussy boy chronicles, Day Two is going ok. I'm sure I won't start hurting again until the weekend. But I'm try to book up half my time with friends, so that will help. And thank gd for Tomb Raider being released. Nothing like summer blockbusters to take your mind off people being across the country.
I ran into Dy___ on the train this morning, so I got to catch up with him. One friend I can scratch off my contact list! About 15 more to go....
So one of my personal improvement activities for this summer, other than running, studying, cleaning up my apartment, is to improve my sex life by working on penetration. I never really liked or wanted pentrative sex until fairly recently. It almost coincided with coming out as trans -- one of the cases where my gender identity was affecting my sexuality because of issues of role-play, eroticization, etc. But also because I wasn't comfortable enough with my body pre-transition. Once I started to actually enjoy my body more, I was able to conceive of being fucked. Of course now that I desire the actual, I find that I still am quite the virgin in the act itself, as far as making it work well, i.e. making myself come. So part of my personal exercises involves masturbating and penetration, so that my body can adjust accordingly. I know that this isn't the weirdest thing or anything, but I feel like most people I know either really like penetration and didn't have to do much self-training, or they really don't like penetration, and so have never made an effort to engage in it. And then I know a select few who sort of made it work for them through trial and error and such. I'm sure that would happen with me -- the more I do it with my partner, the more I like it. But I'm thinking it would be sort of fun to get better acclimated to it on my own, so I can enjoy things with a partner sooner. So anyway, that's the update. I fcking masturbate so much anyway, partly because of hormones, so I could have a whole new bag of tricks by the end of the month. I'm also considering purchasing a couple new toys to aid myself. I seem to recall another time when someone I was dating left town and I decided to console myself by buying a new vibrator. Hmmm....
Ok, I need to stop talking about this stuff if I'm going to get any work done. Not a good path to start going down this early in the day -- I'll never recover my attention span.
Oh, and in regards to the co-dependent wussy boy chronicles, Day Two is going ok. I'm sure I won't start hurting again until the weekend. But I'm try to book up half my time with friends, so that will help. And thank gd for Tomb Raider being released. Nothing like summer blockbusters to take your mind off people being across the country.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: penetration
Date: 2001-06-14 01:06 pm (UTC)But as to the physicality of it, I've never really come solely from penetration, and I might not ever really to it, and that's fine. But right now I still feel like I'm getting used to it, so it's not even totally comfortable the entire time. I guess my goal is to make penetration be more of a constant added turn-on, versus something to overcome! I'm not doing this becasue I feel I "should" or whatever -- it's more just a matter of me wanting to more fully act out my fantasies and desires. But it's weird to really want something mentally, and then the physical acting out just isn't exactly what your expecting -- I'm trying to narrow that gap for myself.