Reporting LIVE...from the center of the earth

[raybear]

I have a phone line! And gas! And it's 11 am and I should get dressed and go to work but instead I'm still in my boxers and on the computer. I was just so excited by the phone and couldn't decide who I should call first and decided my first dialling should be done with the modem so I can announce to the world my happiness.

Also, the gas guy was totally my scary racist uncle. But also had this strange self-esteem problem. He brought up the fact that the neighborhood was gentrifying, and "I for one am glad to see it." At this point I said "are we done down here?" Unfortunately we weren't, and he continued on for a few more minutes, despite my attempts to gently disagree then change the subject. Then when he left, the following exchange occured.

"Looks like you're all set."
"Okaay, great."
"Let me double check this furnace....yep, it's electronic ignition so I don't need to light it."
"Good, good to know."
"Not that you'd want me firing it up for you today!"
"No, you're right."
"Yep, it's electronic ignition....looks like it's been installed well."
"Cool, good to know."
Pause.
"Well, I'll get out of your face now."
"Thanks for your help."
"I'll be leaving now."
"Alright, well thanks and have a good day."
"Okay, you're all set."
Then as I'm shutting the door behind him: "Byyyyyye!"

I couldn't flip that deadbolt fast enough.

Also, when I asked him how long it was take the boiler to heat up he said "oh, about two or three days." I tried to remain calm. "Oh. Okay." He starts snickering. "Try two to three hours!" Don't joke about a man's ability to take a hot shower.

I will be leaving soon and NOT watching the "Move Your Feet" video on heavy rotation.

Welcome back dommeyourass!!

Comments

D-D-D-Don't don't stop the beat

[thebrownhornet.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with him? I swear some people say fucked-up things just because they are too socially awkward to have a civil conversation. Or maybe he's just a racist uncle. He probably had a "bad" experience with a person of color when he was 12 and has been holding a grudge ever since.

Boy, I've got some EXTRA Orangetastik Haterade (TM) today...

[katemosey.livejournal.com]

OK. That was as uncomfortable to read as I'm sure it was to experience. You may have your own personal "Cable Guy Stalker" soon; congratulations Ray!

I can hear it now:

"HEATER GUY! I thought you were my friend Ray. I hooked you up with free heating. You want to play some hoops at the new gentrified Y?"

i've been meaning to say...

[louche.livejournal.com]

HEY!

welcome to the WEST SIDE! yeee hoooo!
i'm happy to count you and dommeyourass to the ranks of the west sidaz.

[lakenaiad.livejournal.com]

What is it about home repair professionals and their need to TALK constantly and at great length, usually about technical nuances that no one but another plumber or electrician or whatever would understand? The guy who ripped out my ceiling the other week was real nice, even if he did chain smoke Pall Malls and stink up the whole front of the house, but I swear he would NOT stop talking to me!

(He also thought that R was my son, and that my gypsy-hoodoo-faggot friend D who was staying with us was my husband!)

[sean7232.livejournal.com]

my racist uncles don't even know the word gentrifying exists...