Painting

[raybear]

Losing a twenty dollar ikea rug in the move is mildly annoying but I can cope with it. However, I can't seem to find the oil painting I made six years ago which has hung prominently in every home I've lived in since then. One of the few paintings I was quite proud of. I can't remember if I pulled it off the wall, or more I have a vague memory of it, but I don't know where it went after that. I don't remember seeing it get on or off the truck or it floating around the apartment. I think it got pulled off the wall then put in a bag or pile of things to toss.

I must have really been out of my head when I moved. Normally I prioritize the painting. I carry it personally and hang it up almost first thing in the new home.

I feel amazingly stupid and angry about this loss. Maybe staying at home was a bad idea.

Comments

[keetbabe.livejournal.com]

sorry to hear about your loss. over the years, i've lost and/or let go of various items... these i still think of:

1) a really cool black smooth rock that had a perfect groove for my thumb to rub. it was my worry stone and i carried it with me when i traveled and it helped ease my stress during troubled times. i remember when i lost it too. i had been drinking and did a cartwheel in a park on my way home and it fell out of my pocket. it was late, dark and a somewhat sketchy place to be and i flippantly (and drunkenly) decided that it was time to let it go...

2) a super soft and fluffy cotton robe that i stupidly brought with me to Korea and had to leave it there when i left the country in 24 hours.

when i lose things, i'm reminded of the scene in Harold and Maude (one of my all-time favorite movies) when they're sitting by a lake and Harold gives Maude a ring. She admires it, oooohs and aaaahhhs at it, and then tosses it in the lake. He was quite upset by this and asked what the hell was she doing? She replied she loved it and now would always know where exactly it was.

Hope you find the painting soon.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

i think it hurt worse because it was something i created, versus something i just bought. and one could then say that at least i have the power to re-create it, or at least create something with the same energy. but it was almost more of a snapshot of a time, i remember vividly the night i painted it in my parents' kitchen, as well as every wall it's hung on in every apartment. it's sort of like losing a photo of a moment.

but, on the other hand, it's so much imprinted in my heart, the loss of the physical doesn't seem quite as devastating.

thanks for the harold and maude reminder! i love that movie too.