And everything that's good right now, I don't wish for it to last.

[raybear]

I just discovered in the bathroom that I have a significant hole in my pants. In the crotch, where the stiching has come apart along the seam for about 4 inches, near the back. I'm glad that I'm wearing dark underwear, so I think it's less noticeable. I've considered asking one of my friendly co-workers to examine me from behind and tell me how obvious it is, but then decided I prefer ignorance and if it's so horrible that they can't help but notice, surely someone will pull me aside.

Last night I had a spontaneous date with myself, where I cooked a nice big dinner, watched a movie, then spent the rest of the evening reading. Because I'm lazy, I'm going to cut and paste from an e-mail I just sent to Miss Rook about the movie and book:

So last night I finally watched "Audition" (it came from Netflix nearly two weeks ago) and damn, even though I had warning that it was fcked up, it still got me. I also freaked out my dog during the scene where they show what she's done to their puppy, because I immediately grabbed Sophie and declared I would never date anyone ever again lest they come home crazy. I also had a moment where I feared [Lowenstein] coming home because I might freak out and start to believe she would torture and kill me. Luckily I got over all this once the movie was over. I especially liked the narrative style, sort of like a David Lynch movie, where it relies on dream logic and sequencing, rather than traditional linear approach.

Also, on Monday after you e-mailed me about Kathryn Harrison's "The Kiss", I went on-line and found it used on Amazon for $0.01. Yeah, one cent. I only had to pay three dollars for shipping. It arrived yesterday at work, I started reading it on the train on the way home, then finished the book after I watched the movie. I couldn't put it down until I was done -- luckily it's a fairly short book and a quick read. You should really read Lolita now, if you can, because it's the only other book that's made me feel the way Harrison's book did. Especially going into detail about the mutual intensity of the emotional and sexual feelings but how it comes to a head when it meets the power difference between the two people. The way both characters deteriorate in different ways is very similar to Lolita and Humbert, which makes me wonder how completely fictional Lolita is....

Though perhaps Harrison's real-life experience undergoing a novelization was just influenced by Nabokov. The book is haunting me. Hell, it haunted me while I read it. It's about the author's "love affair" with her father that started when she was 20 years old (he's primarily been absent from her life her entire childhood) and lasted for over a year.

Since I had dessert coffee during the movie, I was extra awake after finishing the book, so I kept reading, but switched to Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" and the latest issue of Shambhala Sun, neither one exactly light fare, but still a welcome change in gears.

Tonight I have another hot date, this time with dommeyourass, which will include dinner and going to see cocolola in The Maria Chronicles and later the Pink Bloque action in Wicker Park. We're going to dinner in a restaurant, just the two of us. I can't really think of the last time we did this. I hope we'll have enough to talk about. Somehow I think we'll be okay.

Comments

[seide.livejournal.com]

Dang, "Audition" really freaked me out as well, I still have shivers about the piano wire and "deeper, deeper." If you haven't seen "Visitor Q" maybe you would like it.

Different director, but have you seen Tetsuo?

Sorry to jump in all hyper like this but people rarely discuss those movies and it caught my eye.

deeper, deeper.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen either of those movies -- thanks for the recommendations! I'm only recently starting to expose myself to more japanese filmmakers, including going back and starting with seeing more of Kurosawa's work (I'm feeling rather bitter about the upcoming release of the Seven Samurai remake because I hate Tom Cruise!)

Re: deeper, deeper.

[nineinchlovely.livejournal.com]

Re: Tom Cruise..

I find myself looking at his Last Samurai poster and thinking to myself.. "Just *who* does that Tom Cruise *think* he is?!"

[pomegranatekiss.livejournal.com]

I owned The Kiss until a former friend of mine absconded with it. It was one of those books that I was repelled by and drawn to all in the same breath. Just thinking about it makes me want to go and find it again. Thanks. ;)

[raybear.livejournal.com]

Miss Rook and I have started this new routine of going to bookstores together, where we browse together and separate than together, pulling random things off the shelf and asking each other if we've read/heard of them, swapping stories and opinions. This past Saturday she pulled down "The Kiss". Have you heard of this? she asked. Nope, I replied. She tells me what it's about. Then she told an anecdote involving the author and our former co-worker at the bookstore where we met. At the end, all I could say was, "wow. So....are you going to buy it? You are? Oh. Well, can I borrow it?" I was fixated from the moment she just gave the plot synopsis, as if I knew how magnetic the prose was before I even cracked the spine.

[pomegranatekiss.livejournal.com]

It has such a compelling dynamic, hers with her father... I felt guilty reading it because it felt like I was listening to a story too personal to be meant for my ears. When I first read the synopsis I thought that it was going to be written tabloid-style, but her writing was understated and drew me in completely. I didn't put it down until it was finished, either. I handed that book to everyone I knew before it 'disappeared' and it was one of the few things that made me consider contacting my ex-love just because I wanted it back. I remember deciding then that I would just buy another copy.

Now, why didn't I?! I'm going to be thinking about this all day.

[vfc.livejournal.com]

Whate are the Pink Bloque up to tonight?

this is where i'll be

[raybear.livejournal.com]

> 7 November 2003
> Action against rape and violence against women
> everywhere.
> Meet up at "High School" (space above Buddy)
> 1542 N. Milwaukee Ave., 3rd Floor
> 12 am Midnight [educational]
> Followed by street action
>
> Please join the Pink Bloque at midnight on 7 November
> 2003 as we build awareness on the topic of rape. This
> comes partially on the heels on the rash of rapes
> being committed and reported on the North side of
> Chicago. We want to publicly support all survivors of
> sexual assault. However we also want to raise
> awareness around the fact that the reason these rapes
> in these areas are receiving so much attention is
> because the assailants are men of color, most of the
> victims are white, and these rapes are happening in
> gentrified neighborhoods.
> We want to publicise the fact that most rapes are not
> committed by strangers in an alley. We need to
> struggle for justice for all victims - from women
> raped in Lincoln Park by a serial rapist, to women
> raped on the West side whose calls go unanswered by
> police; from women who are raped by their husbands
> inside their homes to women kidnapped and murdered in
> Juarez Mexico; from children being fondled by their
> fathers to girls being filmed by R. Kelly. Women,
> men, and children everywhere are being raped and we
> demand justice for all of them - no matter who they
> are, where they live, and what color their assailants
> are.
> We invite you to come out and dialogue about all the
> converging issues that are contributing to rape and
> sexual abuse in our communities and communities
> everywhere. We hope you join us in distributing
> flyers and information about all forms of sexual
> assault to the patrons of our fine Wicker Park
> drinking saloons. We hope you are as pissed as we are
> about what is going on and we hope you come together
> with us to give a shout out against rape everywhere!
>
> xo
> Kate
>
> ps. Wear pink if you wanna look as cute as us; but we
> will not make fun of you if you do not.
>

[elthar.livejournal.com]

During a tae kwon do class last week, there was a sudden RRRRRIP as the instructor led us in a particular stretch.

The class was, ah, abbreviated.