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raybearSo, I was tempted to do one of the memes of questionnaires going around, because I'm bored as fck, but then I decided on something more ridiculous. I present to you, the Reader's Digest Celine Dion Un-cut Interview, questions originally included in a publication, but now answered by CeCe.
[Warning. Um, for those who just tuned in, this is satire.]
READER'S DIGEST: I would like to start by talking about what it was like for you to take the last two years off.
Well, it didn't start off with me intentionally want to take a break. Reports of my saying goodbye were greatly exaggerated. I mean, sure I didn't return phone calls as often or as quickly as I used, but I certainly didn't disappear. I was going to work. I got a dog. I had a closet case boyfriend. I sat at home and watched movies. But I didn't ever stop working -- I've been known to often withdraw and take breaks, to figure out the next step of things.
READER'S DIGEST: All your life, nearly.
Exactly. I've always been a very introspective person. But I also need time to revamp my acts. I can't keep doing the same karaoke version of the Titanic songs forever. I had to delve deep and discover newer songs in the catalog. I got so immersed and exposed to so many gems of the Celine catalog, the pre-english records. I was so wrapped in going to Quebec that I got the flu and sinus infections from all the travel!
READER'S DIGEST: Maybe too much exposure.
Ha! Yes! But can one really have too much Celine? If so, I haven't reached that point yet.
READER’S DIGEST: You mentioned there were normal things you wanted to do like drive your own car, iron your husband’s shirts, things that you had missed.
Well, I didn't have a car to drive, since it broke down and couldn't afford to fix it since I was out of work. But then I got a nice contract deal with a new hotel on the old strip and could afford a new used car. So yes, I'm enjoying driving and not taking the bus anymore. And my husband doesn't really need his shirts ironed anymore since he passed on last year (may he rest in peace), but I'm still an avid fan of the activity. I mean, there's only so much I can allow my kink to be associated with a single lover. After all, it's MY kink at the end of the day. God, I missed the smell of starch and the heat of the steam on my face.
READER’S DIGEST: How did you arrive at the decision of saying, “I’m going to come back”? Did you give yourself a timetable?
I wanted to wait, I needed more time to prepare, but when fate comes knocking....or in my case the bill collectors. I got really lucky that my friend hooked me up with singing job because I was about to try my luck as a dealer but I was afraid they'd dig up my old name and/or perform a pants check as part of the security clearance. And CeCe doesn't give away feelies for free. But yeah, I guess it was good timing, since my voice had recovered and I had three new karaoke CDs.
READER’S DIGEST: This time around, I imagine, you’re a different person simply because you’re a mother, you’ve got a baby, you’ve done other things. Is your show-business life going to be different?
Well, my baby certainly has changed me. Having to get out of bed every day for her is a challenge, but I know she needs me. Otherwise she pees and poops on the rug and I don't have anyone to clean it up but myself! But when she snuggles up to me at night and licks my face and wags her tail, I know I made the right choice in my companionship. She inspires me, to work harder, to sing better. She loves Celine as much as I, but possibly Babs more. So now I'm working on my Barbra performances to dedicate to her.
But yes, my show business life has to be different because of it. I can't just be about myself anymore. It's about me, my family, and of course, the art itself.
And Celine. I can't forget Celine.
[Warning. Um, for those who just tuned in, this is satire.]
READER'S DIGEST: I would like to start by talking about what it was like for you to take the last two years off.
Well, it didn't start off with me intentionally want to take a break. Reports of my saying goodbye were greatly exaggerated. I mean, sure I didn't return phone calls as often or as quickly as I used, but I certainly didn't disappear. I was going to work. I got a dog. I had a closet case boyfriend. I sat at home and watched movies. But I didn't ever stop working -- I've been known to often withdraw and take breaks, to figure out the next step of things.
READER'S DIGEST: All your life, nearly.
Exactly. I've always been a very introspective person. But I also need time to revamp my acts. I can't keep doing the same karaoke version of the Titanic songs forever. I had to delve deep and discover newer songs in the catalog. I got so immersed and exposed to so many gems of the Celine catalog, the pre-english records. I was so wrapped in going to Quebec that I got the flu and sinus infections from all the travel!
READER'S DIGEST: Maybe too much exposure.
Ha! Yes! But can one really have too much Celine? If so, I haven't reached that point yet.
READER’S DIGEST: You mentioned there were normal things you wanted to do like drive your own car, iron your husband’s shirts, things that you had missed.
Well, I didn't have a car to drive, since it broke down and couldn't afford to fix it since I was out of work. But then I got a nice contract deal with a new hotel on the old strip and could afford a new used car. So yes, I'm enjoying driving and not taking the bus anymore. And my husband doesn't really need his shirts ironed anymore since he passed on last year (may he rest in peace), but I'm still an avid fan of the activity. I mean, there's only so much I can allow my kink to be associated with a single lover. After all, it's MY kink at the end of the day. God, I missed the smell of starch and the heat of the steam on my face.
READER’S DIGEST: How did you arrive at the decision of saying, “I’m going to come back”? Did you give yourself a timetable?
I wanted to wait, I needed more time to prepare, but when fate comes knocking....or in my case the bill collectors. I got really lucky that my friend hooked me up with singing job because I was about to try my luck as a dealer but I was afraid they'd dig up my old name and/or perform a pants check as part of the security clearance. And CeCe doesn't give away feelies for free. But yeah, I guess it was good timing, since my voice had recovered and I had three new karaoke CDs.
READER’S DIGEST: This time around, I imagine, you’re a different person simply because you’re a mother, you’ve got a baby, you’ve done other things. Is your show-business life going to be different?
Well, my baby certainly has changed me. Having to get out of bed every day for her is a challenge, but I know she needs me. Otherwise she pees and poops on the rug and I don't have anyone to clean it up but myself! But when she snuggles up to me at night and licks my face and wags her tail, I know I made the right choice in my companionship. She inspires me, to work harder, to sing better. She loves Celine as much as I, but possibly Babs more. So now I'm working on my Barbra performances to dedicate to her.
But yes, my show business life has to be different because of it. I can't just be about myself anymore. It's about me, my family, and of course, the art itself.
And Celine. I can't forget Celine.
