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raybearI feel that my weekend started Thursday afternoon, and the first half, or 2/3 was crazy intense mania, but than at 2:45 am on Saturday night the rush ended and I was practically dead asleep on a stranger's couch in the middle of a party with music blaring.
Friday night I had a lovely date with Lowenstein that involved sushi and talking and going to Old Town where I helped tear tickets so I could sneak into the show legitimately. The music was great, and I was particularly in love with this one blues harp player who Otis Taylor pulled up on stage for one song, but not as high energy as I possibly needed to sustain momentum. We had a fun scene plan after her trip to Circuit, but the concert didn't done in time so we ended up going home and having fun anyway. At least we'll have the scene for another time, and hell, it was hot enough just thinking about the prospects.
Saturday I slept in but not as long as I wanted. I made the party mix CDs for the Saints2Sinners folks, did a couple loads of laundry, tried to get work done, but had to hop on the bus to head north for our psychic appointment. The session was intense and good and interesting and unexpected and not exactly lifechanging in the way I wanted but I'm greedy. Afterwards it was hard to come down and adjust to getting ready for the party. But we managed to switch gears eventually and I actually had a fabulous time putting together my priest character, especially when I got to make out with the nun. So dirty. I ran some last minute errands for Lady Lynx and met up with Ivanna for a late dinner before the party. The party itself was fun. I received a flogging in the beginning of the evening to cleanse my soul before I did further sinning. Normally in public scenes I don't take it too far, and this time I went further than I should and had a not-so-great moment at the end, but I'm actually quite proud of how I was able to pull myself together after the unexpected reaction. That feels really important to me, being able to restore my sense of safety and security and go back to a fun headspace, rather then dwelling too much on the temporary moment of panic and distrust. The rest of the night I danced my ass off, occasionally taking breaks for a couple conversations. I dripped hot wax on a few folks and then had Dark Angel drip some on me. But mostly I danced.
When I did sit down at 2:45 am, just for a moment, all of the sudden my body and mind just collapsed and dripped out of my feet onto the floor. I didn't really fall asleep or pass out, but I'm sure it looked that way and it even felt that way. I pulled myself together around 3am and set my dial to "auto-pilot" and made it through the end of the party and got us home. We didn't get into bed until 5 am.
Sunday was the day of recovery. Again, I slept in, but it wasn't enough. My body chemistry was all thrown off from the days before. I was dehydrated and blood sugar was hovering around crashing. We got food and went to the grocery story, but most of the day was spent lying down, either watching television or napping to get rid of the headache, or reading for school. The migraine didn't fully leave my head until 10 pm or so, which was the time I was intending to go to bed, but I got that euphoric rush of being pain-free and hit my stride in getting more work done, which is a good thing. And didn't get to bed until just after midnight, which is a bad thing.
I'm soooo tired this morning.
So tired that I can't really write about the thousands of other things going on, including lessons I've been mulling since thursday's therapy and Saturday's psychic session and various conversations in-between. Too tired to talk about how much the movie "Unfaithful" sucked, even though I went into it with low expectations. Too tired to talk about how Mandy Moore was in my dream last night and I kept teasing her and calling her by her full name and she was wearing an outfit similar to Lady Lynx's from Saturday. Too tired to talk about job stuff, though I also don't want to jinx anything by writing about it here.
But other than exhausted, I'm doing quite well.
And I leave myself with this:
If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?
Friday night I had a lovely date with Lowenstein that involved sushi and talking and going to Old Town where I helped tear tickets so I could sneak into the show legitimately. The music was great, and I was particularly in love with this one blues harp player who Otis Taylor pulled up on stage for one song, but not as high energy as I possibly needed to sustain momentum. We had a fun scene plan after her trip to Circuit, but the concert didn't done in time so we ended up going home and having fun anyway. At least we'll have the scene for another time, and hell, it was hot enough just thinking about the prospects.
Saturday I slept in but not as long as I wanted. I made the party mix CDs for the Saints2Sinners folks, did a couple loads of laundry, tried to get work done, but had to hop on the bus to head north for our psychic appointment. The session was intense and good and interesting and unexpected and not exactly lifechanging in the way I wanted but I'm greedy. Afterwards it was hard to come down and adjust to getting ready for the party. But we managed to switch gears eventually and I actually had a fabulous time putting together my priest character, especially when I got to make out with the nun. So dirty. I ran some last minute errands for Lady Lynx and met up with Ivanna for a late dinner before the party. The party itself was fun. I received a flogging in the beginning of the evening to cleanse my soul before I did further sinning. Normally in public scenes I don't take it too far, and this time I went further than I should and had a not-so-great moment at the end, but I'm actually quite proud of how I was able to pull myself together after the unexpected reaction. That feels really important to me, being able to restore my sense of safety and security and go back to a fun headspace, rather then dwelling too much on the temporary moment of panic and distrust. The rest of the night I danced my ass off, occasionally taking breaks for a couple conversations. I dripped hot wax on a few folks and then had Dark Angel drip some on me. But mostly I danced.
When I did sit down at 2:45 am, just for a moment, all of the sudden my body and mind just collapsed and dripped out of my feet onto the floor. I didn't really fall asleep or pass out, but I'm sure it looked that way and it even felt that way. I pulled myself together around 3am and set my dial to "auto-pilot" and made it through the end of the party and got us home. We didn't get into bed until 5 am.
Sunday was the day of recovery. Again, I slept in, but it wasn't enough. My body chemistry was all thrown off from the days before. I was dehydrated and blood sugar was hovering around crashing. We got food and went to the grocery story, but most of the day was spent lying down, either watching television or napping to get rid of the headache, or reading for school. The migraine didn't fully leave my head until 10 pm or so, which was the time I was intending to go to bed, but I got that euphoric rush of being pain-free and hit my stride in getting more work done, which is a good thing. And didn't get to bed until just after midnight, which is a bad thing.
I'm soooo tired this morning.
So tired that I can't really write about the thousands of other things going on, including lessons I've been mulling since thursday's therapy and Saturday's psychic session and various conversations in-between. Too tired to talk about how much the movie "Unfaithful" sucked, even though I went into it with low expectations. Too tired to talk about how Mandy Moore was in my dream last night and I kept teasing her and calling her by her full name and she was wearing an outfit similar to Lady Lynx's from Saturday. Too tired to talk about job stuff, though I also don't want to jinx anything by writing about it here.
But other than exhausted, I'm doing quite well.
And I leave myself with this:
If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?
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Re: I think last night
Date: 2004-02-26 08:02 am (UTC)