Your lonely voice cries across the starlit coast

[raybear]

Yesterday was sort of awkward and weird, for various reasons, but today is a new day, and so far, so good.

I love that I can sit at home all day, half of it on the computer, and never update. But right now I'm updating while standing at a computer terminal in the engineering library. I'm killing a few minutes waiting for a copier to be done. In lieu of an actual entry, I will present for your Friday pleasure, a poll!


[Poll #351637]

Comments

[jediknight11.livejournal.com]

hello again, raybear.

i was unable to respond to your comment on bloggo chicago. i registered my domain just a few days ago, and i'm still learning to navigate through it. if you type in your e-mail addy, i'll be able to respond, i think. also, the actual address will not show up in the comments section. how's that for an introduction? :p

first, i apologize if i sounded very harsh and bitter. well, i guess i'm a little bitter, but that has more to do with the program i was in. at the same time, i've enjoyed being a student advocate the moment i started teaching. i guess that's why i wrote what i did.

at any rate, i'm relieved to know that you went into this with eyes wide open. i only wish that mine were just as wide when i started. but like i said, if i hadn't gone, i'd spend the rest of my life wondering what if?

my concentration was in poetry, and i've looked at my thesis maybe twice since i defended it in may '02. i've grown to hate--ok, very much dislike--poetry and haven't written a poem since.

in the meantime, i wrote some creative non-fiction, which i'm comfortable with. have i finished anything? heh. right. part of the reason is because i didn't have time to write while adjuncting.

now that i have time again, i'm experimenting with fiction writing. i've never been able to come up with a decent conflict, so i never had a direction in which to take my stories.

after graduation, as a "fuck you" to mfa students, grads, and professors; and to awp and mfa programs altogether, specifically the one i went to, i defied the elitist attitudes and predominantly white bread environment (i'm sorry if i offend) by reading star wars novels and comics, and developing a love for hip-hop and old school gangsta rap. besides, by the time i returned to chicago, wxrt had deteriorated considerably.

i also grew to hate reading (reading!) while in grad school. after finishing up, i just wanted to read for pleasure and not to demonstrate some obscure theory through the text, instead of using the text to demonstrate the theory.

that being said, and i'm still trying to get past the shame and embarrassment of this, i began working on a *gasp* fanfic. a star wars fanfic at that. i've tried to justify this by looking at it as a writing exercise, a way for me to practice employing literary elements in fiction.

i have a secret dream of publishing a star wars novel. at first i thought about using a pen name, to avoid the horror i'm sure i'd be met with by the mfa community. then i decided that it would be better to use my real name, and include the name of the mfa program i attended in "about the author."

perhaps this is petty and immature. but what the hell? it makes me feel better. ;)

anyway, after not having written a word other than comments on students' papers, i think this little fanfic is some of the best writing i've done. the poetics i honed in grad school has really informed my prose. for example, i always had trouble writing descriptively, but i've improved.

although i'm having fun with it, there's a part of me that feels like i'm wasting my time.

anyway, i do have an lj account, so if you want to friend me, i'll friend you back. but be warned--my lj posts are about my depressing private life, whereas bloggo chicago is more of a public (though not phony) persona. also, a lot of the earlier entries are quizzes, quizzes, and more quizzes. i have, however, moved even more of these off bloggo chicago and into its own blog.

if you like, i'll add you to my bloggo roll.

cheers. and thanks for reading. :)