When the truth came out, were you the last to know?

[raybear]

So I didn't meet Shawnna or Chingy or some guy from Lil Jon's Eastside Boyz, but it was fun to think for a minute that I might. Especially when DYA asked what I would make conversation about if I attempted to network with them in the VIP area. And I actually had some ideas.

Um, yeah, I went out dancing last night. Ok, maybe I'm supposed to be home either recuperating or writing my big great american novel for my last school packet, but I wanted to see Tre & co., wanted to support their big night as the official Shawnna concert after-party venue, and wanted to just get out of the house and move and have fun that didn't involve a couch and a DVD player. After lots of outfit changes and consultations, we were dressed and left the house and got to the club around 11. I danced a bit, chatted a bit, felt good, then just dropped. I sat in the corner for a while, trying not to fall asleep, trying to will myself to find a second wind. I drank some more water and the DJ played good songs and I was on the dance floor for about an hour. We left just after 1 am, before the VIP room got set up, so I missed my chance to sip Cristal with second-tier rappers. Or maybe third-tier. Depending on whether the tiers are based on skill or popularity, I suppose.

Last night was my first official outing wearing merely a t-shirt. Too bad that most of chest is still fairly numb so it kind still felt like I had on a binder, except my back and belly were virtually naked. Or so it felt. It felt so erotic and obscene to wear merely a t-shirt -- there was barely anything between someone's hand and my skin! I probably spent half the night unconsciously molesting myself. Such is the life of a person who's spent most of the past 5 years mummifying my torso before going out in public. The t-shirt I wore was one I acquired about three years ago from limenal's former roomate, a grey ringer T that says "requiem for a dream", and I held onto even though it was too small, because I flippantly swore "this will be the first shirt I wear after chest surgery". So when I saw it in the closet last night, it seemed appropriate. Plus, it matched my kangol hat.

Alright, back to writing. For real. Last packet. End of semester. Almost there. And I'm leaving the house in a couple hours to hopefully see DJ Spooky at the MCA.

Comments

[sharkysmachine.livejournal.com]

OMG. It is four o'clock here. I was supposed to have been up and about. I was supposed to have that packet in the mail today.

I guess I'll be driving to my advisor's house and sneaking it in the mailbox.

Again.

fortunately, I have a different car, so she won't know it's me right away.

[kneidlach.livejournal.com]

when did Mos Def get all homophobic?

I was so sad when I heard those lyrics in one of the songs on his new album. Really disappointed. Especially given that he's Wyatt's fake boyfriend.

[gloeden.livejournal.com]

"I probably spent half the night unconsciously molesting myself."
I have this picture of you brushing your nipples with your palm whilst talking to someone who has this look on their face like, "if I don't stare at his hand doing that, maybe he'll stop coming onto me!"
And when did Mos Def get all homophobic? I mean, what song, cause I haven't heard any of the new cd.

[brothernumber3.livejournal.com]

i used to touch my chest all the time before surgery, and right after it just got worse! i totally understand. i remember the naked feeling too, skin against flimsy cotton in places that aren't used to that. light stretching really helped with the numbness for me, once i was allowed to do stuff like that, that is.

mos def

[louche.livejournal.com]

actually, he has been for a while. there's a song on "black on both sides" where he disses fags. it's sad. i don't know. he's got such a good message on every other level that i try to ignore it. i think it's a lot about where he comes from. maybe someday after spending so much time in theatre he'll stop being ignorant on that front. i know. i'm making excuses.

[torreycanyon.livejournal.com]

I'm so very behind on all the news round here..

but congratulations!