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[personal profile] raybear
I woke up and shortly after there was thunder. It sounded so foreign, I suppose because it is in the winter time. I took Sophie out the back, but after running five feet into the yard, she turned right back around and ran inside. She didn't want anything to do with the heavy rain and sleet. So we came back upstairs and I worked on my 'homework'.


Last night I went to the first session of my five week meditation course. It seemed to be a larger class than usual -- I'm sure because of new year's resolutions. Many people made this same comment, but what amused me was that when all of us made it, there was only a slightly sheepish response in owning that decision. There were few attempts to pretend there wasn't an aspect of "resolution" involve and that was okay. It's okay to be earnest in this environment and not face ridicule. Though I'm getting better about dealing with the latter when out in the real world.

So the course started with how to get up from the mat, how to get down on the mat, how to fluff the pillows (yes, I know it's more than that, and I mean it affectionately), some basic breathing techiniques, and a few mudras (hand poses, specifically hapchang). Kosu covered some basic buddhist tenets: how it started, we're all buddhas, impermanence, letting go. We did a few short sittings inbetween the lessons. She talked about how much of zen is about learning through watching, that no teachers are really needed, and how in a lot of monastaries, there wouldn't be anyone like her sitting and talking to you, it would just be about observing. (Which made me feel a little better about my year of going to the temple before taking the intro course.)

As I was leaving the templed, the woman next to me on the mats unexpectedly stuck out her hand and introduced herself. I was for some reason flattered and touched. But then she darted down the stairs and I didn't engage with her more. Next week. My new mantra for temple is "don't be afraid to stay for tea and cookies" which is code for not being afraid to commit to the sangha, to engage with other buddhists, other practitioners, to step outside of my comfort zone and meet new people.

So, my 'homework' is to sit for five minutes a day at least five times a week and one hapchang per day. I feel like I cheated because in the past couple weeks I've been sitting at least three times a week, to try and prepare. Yes, I know it's not really cheating.

This morning I sat in the rain. Or rather I sat by the window with the rain on the other side of the glass and the occasional distant murmurs of thunder and I had a little breakthrough moment with one of the breathing techniques. I've heard (and read) about focusing on the out-breath, then letting the in-breath happen "naturally". I had no idea what that meant or how to do it. I seemed to only be able to focus on both, to consciously inhale and exhale. But this morning I realized what they meant, how to exhale slowly, completely, then pause, and wait for the involuntary function of breathing to kick in. I just wasn't waiting that extra 2/10ths of a second for it to happen naturally.


And that is today's moment of zen. At least for me.

In Other NewsTM, T-Boogie called me up yesterday and made me an offer I can't refuse. I'm DJing the LCCP ball, which isn't that groundbreaking or exciting in and of itself, but I will be the right-hand DJ for......MC Lyte. MC fckin' Lyte. MC 'Cold Rock a Party' Lyte. MC 'Paper Thin' Lyte. She's not performing at the event, she's just being essentially "the hype man", talking to the crowd, getting people to dance, calling out song requests, etc., but I'll be the guy behind the decks helping her out. (I think this is sort of similar to Meshell Ndegeocello's appearance last year, except she'll actually interact with the crowd.) I'm so excited about this that I've come completely full circle that I'm chill and calm. Or maybe I'm just nonplussed.

I'm getting a late start on my morning. I still need to cut my hair, do all the paperwork to mail off the journal copies, so I can head downtown to watch [livejournal.com profile] dommeyourass's closing arguments.

Date: 2005-01-12 09:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kneidlach.livejournal.com
but I will be the right-hand DJ for......MC Lyte.

Holy crap! That is awesome.

I'm starting a 9-week meditation & relaxation (though not specifically Buddhist) class in a few weeks myself.

Date: 2005-01-12 09:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
the majority of the people in my class have never been to the temple before for services of any kind, and it's definitely geared towards a practice that's not reliant solely on any spiritual practice, but i'm glad i found a mix of both. there's another large western buddhist temple in chicago that has an evening meditation led by a monk I adored, but when i read the books written by the founder of the temple, i just couldn't really get behind their take on it. (more tibetan practice versus the korean zen one i attend now.)

HOLY CRAP!!!!

Date: 2005-01-12 10:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] louche.livejournal.com
MC LYTE?!?!?! OMG OMG OMG!!!! she is SO amazing!!! maybe someone could persuade her to do a little ditty or something. oh, MANNNN!! very very exciting.

also, maybe i'll be seein ya at the trial. again. woo.

Date: 2005-01-12 10:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loosethread.livejournal.com
Oh my fcukin' GODDDD!!!! I'm super jealous. That should be so fcukin' amazing! I can't stop saying fcuk misspelled.

Date: 2005-01-12 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chicagocowboi.livejournal.com
If you have time, I would love to talk to you about temple.

Date: 2005-01-12 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
sure. you can also get info from http://www.zenbuddhisttemple.org

Date: 2005-01-12 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trooper6.livejournal.com
Speaking of MC Lyte. Is she officially out as queer? Officially?

Date: 2005-01-12 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
i don't know if it's 'official', but this is the big ball for the Chicago "Lesbian Community Cancer Project". but you know, i'll ask.

Date: 2005-01-12 07:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trooper6.livejournal.com
Let me know what you find out...I'll be waiting on baited breath!

Date: 2005-01-12 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nineinchlovely.livejournal.com
MC Lyte?! That's so great! It's also good to hear about the meditation class. Keep me posted about the great things you're learning.

i get starstruck

Date: 2005-01-12 11:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ze-wallflower.livejournal.com
that's so cool! she's so cool! you're so cool!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2005-01-13 06:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
it's a zen temple, one of a korean tradition (though the temple is definitely an american buddhist sangha!)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2005-01-13 07:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
i first meditated in a banquet room above a restaurant!!
being in a temple is wonderful and i'm grateful for the experience of having that space available.

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