Attracted to our style, this is how we get down.

[raybear]

Oh man, I'm sore.

It started yesterday....wait, it probably started Monday when I went swimming and then biked. So my body was probably a little more tired than usual, but nothing painful. Then yesterday morning I sprung awake at 5 am, unable to fall back asleep, so I decided to make use of the early morning hours by going to temple. My practice had fallen aside in the past week, so it would be a good rejuvenation so sit with other there. And I was struggling with a few things, so I really needed the grounding. I drove up at 6 am, the sky still dark, and Sanha was outside stretching. She smiled when she saw me. "I was just thinking about you! I hadn't seen you in awhile!" I asked if I could join her and the live-in students and what it would entail. Prostrations, a sitting, then chanting. Ok, sure the usual. I did some warming up and stretching. Little did I know.

Every morning they do 108 prostrations. I think I knew this but forgot. I think I thought I could handle such an activity but was wrong. Very very wrong. For those who don't know, a prostration basically involves standing, going down on your knees, bowing and putting your head on the ground, sitting up onto your knees, then standing. Pretty much in all one slow consistent fluid motion. It's like standing deep knee-bend squats. It's hard. Try it right now. Do one. No problem, right? Do three -- that's what I usually do in the morning. A nice little warm-up. Do 10...25...oh, the quads are burning. Even when I did the modified version, and put my arms out and touched the ground to help stabilize me, it still hurt. I started doing occasional standing bows instead. By the last 30 or so, I was pretty much doing 2 prostrations, 2 standing bows.

I was so glad I drove. I would have been unable to ride a bike home. When I got to the house, climbing the stairs was a slow painful feat, and I was so exhausted I couldn't lift my head to look DYA in the eye while she talked to me as I shuffled around. I climbed into a hot bath with epsom salt.

I'm still sore today. Walking is not too bad. Going upstairs is a little stiff, but doable. But holy isht, going downstairs is so painful I must grip both bannisters to help support myself. The people in the sangha must all have killer quads.

So this afternoon, I should be working on this book review, but instead I go outside to dig and uproot and clear out and plant. Gardening is therapeutic, frustrating, fun....and hot. I was totally the sweaty gardener in the dirty pants, work boots and stained a-frame. And when I got done and came inside, DYA was totally the sexy "desperate housewife". Except our scene was not fit for network television or probably even cable.

Um yeah, so I'm sore.

I think I need a nap before I work on my lecture for tomorrow. I'm teaching tomorrow! At a college undergraduate literature class! I'm excited! And freaked out! But I had a dream last night about it, that was sort of an anxiety dream, but it was low anxiety. Like a couple problems popped up, but I worked through them. I like when my unconscious makes psychological progress. I wonder if I've been going to therapy in my dreams.

Comments

[nineinchlovely.livejournal.com]

You did a 108 prostrations? (standing bows or not, that's intense.) I've started going to zen meditation at DePaul, since it's during and immediately after the workday. One thing I haven't really figured out though is how one can do effective walking meditation. [These days we're doing 30 minutes of sitting meditation, 15 minutes of dharma talk, and 15 of walking meditation (not in that order).] I tried to clear my mind and I found it jumping onto the technique I was using, whether my pants were swishing too loud against the floor etc. Got any tips about how to make walking meditation more meaningful?

I'm totally having images of you and DYA slamming each other against things either in the kitchen or in a shed somewhere with lots of hoes and shears around. (Not those kinds of *hoes*..but gardening ones which can be just as dirty. Damn I'm full of puns today.)

Good luck on your teaching tomorrow. I've got a speaking gig at Columbia on Friday, so believe me, I do understand excited! and freaked out! I'm sure you'll do splendidly.

Ri

walking meditation

[raybear.livejournal.com]

wear less swishy pants. HA! seriously, i have the same problem -- i like to meditate in loose pants, which are usually workout pants, which are wind pant material and they're LOUD. or loose jeans that are too long and drag the floor. so i get really really selfconscious. find a pair of pants that fit well enough and don't make too much noise and eliminate the stress. but also, know that it seems way louder to you than those around you. and if they do hear it, they probably don't really care.

i love walking meditation because i can focus on the physical and my breathing, so there's less room for thoughts. focus your attention on what the person in front of you is doing -- sync up with their steps and pace. don't think or look at yourself -- just do what they do. that might help you feel less self-conscious.

Re: walking meditation

[nineinchlovely.livejournal.com]

I think my main problem was the loose pants problem. I was wearing my "dressy mcworkerson" pants. I usually buy pants that are entirely too big on me and entirely too long, thus resulting in the swishy pant problem. I found that once I hiked my pants up I did end up focusing on the guy in front of me leading us around, but it was more along the lines of "I wonder why he keeps leading us in swirly formations around all of these chairs (a la obstacle course)" I think perhaps next time, I'll put my hand squarely on my chest so I can feel and see the rise and fall of breathing rather than the overactive thinking.

And you know, it's like that whole zen thing...like how many babies fit in a tire or something, but I've realized that thinking about not thinking so much is still thinking. So there's that. ;)