I don't know how I'm still standing on my feet.

[raybear]

I was all ready to stay up all night working, enjoying the quiet dark hours in the apartment, but now I'm feeling sleepy. It's not even 10 o'clock! I think it's the chocolate milkshake. And the avoidance. I'm reading a book called Art & Fear and it's supposed to be empowering but I think it just makes it worse because it's articulating all the isht I do and think about myself. Of course, this doesn't make me stop reading it. In fact, I can't even read anything else until it's done, and normally I have 2 books going at a time, one fiction, one non-fiction of some form. This probably means I'm tapping into something but that doesn't mean I'm necessarily happy about it. Resist, resist, resist, thy name is Raymond. Why do I resist change so much? I think what I maybe resist more is change on someone else's timetable. Of course, I need these other timetables because otherwise my progress would be measured on a geological scale. Or an evolutionary one. And if I was an evolutionary theory, I would be punctuated equilibrium -- nothing gradual about it. Just a random leap out of nowhere, launching me forward.

Speaking of evolution, my aunt in Tennessee who I visited this weekend teaches second grade in the public school and mentioned that evolution is a "hot issue" and she almost got in trouble with a mom in a science discussion of mammals versus reptiles vs birds vs plants and putting human beings in the same category as other mammals. She also said their are many parents who are very anti-Harry Potter and have even asked her if she was also into sorcery and witchcraft, since she liked the books too much. My aunt said something to the effect of, "so what if I was? But really that question is so ridiculous and dumb, I can't believe people make that leap." A leap of faith. I just sat there with my mouth open thinking that evolution was still be debated in this 21st century society. I mean, actually, I think it should be debated, but more in a WHAT theory of evolution is most accurate (because there are a few out there). I mean, even when I was a christian, I summed it up as this: God created evolution. Simple, elegant. Why is it so hard? Oh because we live in a crazy society that is moving backwards and devolving to sooner bring about armaggedeon. I don't think I spelled that right. I don't use that word very often, even though I am a drama queen. I think I prefer the term "apocalypse". It feels more universal, less overtly religious.

I have decided I want to read the book Freakonomics but of course it was all checked out from the library and I almost got The Torture Papers instead, but who am I kidding that in 3 weeks I'd read 1200 pages of government documents and memos from the past 5 years that helped pave the way for Abu Ghraib and other instances of Americans performing 'legal' torture acts and getting around the law? Not likely.

This post interrupted by a phone call from limenal.

I suppose I shouldn't just throw out that casual reference to visiting my family in Tennessee. It was nice, nothing too weird. Mostly just sitting around and chatting while watching tv and movies and eating. At times I felt awkward, just because I haven't seen them in a long time, I was tired from my week in New Orleans, and I came at a busy time (both of my cousins going down to memphis for college that week). Plus my uncle was sick with a bad cold, after having just returned to work the week before after recovering from surgery for prostate cancer. But on Sunday morning I talked to him a little while in the kitchen about my grandmother's health and other random bits of life. He mentioned me coming back for a longer visit, I said the same when I left. I also invited my cousins to come visit Chicago whenever they'd like and meant it. I'd love to have them come up and hang out with me.

They live in Ripley, Tennessee, about 40 miles north of Memphis. Despite the neo-conservative people in the county as mentioned above, it's strangely mixed and one of the few counties in the state to vote democratic in the last election. And they're famous for their tomatoes. I bought two pounds, which I think is half a peck, but my farmer knowledge is rusty. We've eaten most of them in the past two days, usually with fresh ears of corn on the cob. It's that time of year where I eat this summer meal 4 nights a week. I just need to make some iced tea to wash it all down.

I think I've woken up a bit.

Comments

[moander.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough, I am from one of the other couties that went Democrat in '04. My mom is also a librarian at the local high school, so you can imagine that she gets the "Harry Potter treatment" all the time. Is it any wonder we left the South? =)

I love the end of the world

[bowdownza.livejournal.com]

The only thing worse than people who believe in withcraft and sorcery (ie. people who collect crystal and dragons or tell you they are wiccan) are people who are afraid of witchcraft and sorcery because they believe it will corrupt their kids because all that is saying is that as grown adults they are afraid of some midevil sort of superstition.

[broqued.livejournal.com]

did you happen to catch this yesteday?

Harvard plans origins of life study

"My expectation is that we will be able to reduce this to a very simple series of logical events that could have taken place with no divine intervention," Liu was quoted as saying.

it's about f*ckin' time, don't you think?