Do you want a taste?

[raybear]

I've been rocking life hermit-style lately. This morning I even woke up and considered spending the whole day not talking. I broke my silence to answer DYA's question and it was interesting to have my speech feel so intentional and careful. I'm actually planning on using next weekend when I have the house to myself to design a retreat for myself. Today I'll just stick to the original plan of writing and reading. And write up a pop culture review.

Movies

I'm currently watching the Wal-mart movie, which I thought would sort of be like The Corporation -- interesting and good, but not much I didn't already know. I have to say this movie is a bit more alarming in some of what it exposes. Last night we watched The Station Agent which I liked a lot, not just because Peter Dinklage was great, but because I love Patricia Clarkson and my new favorite second-tier actor, Bobby Cannavale. It's one of those "character movies" I guess -- not action packed, but still enchanting. I also give the stamp of approval on Grizzly Man. And don't worry, it's not a snuff film.

Books

I took a break from my Garcia Marquez campaign to read a 'fluffy' book, though I suppose it depends on the standards. I picked up Cintra Wilson's Colors Insulting to Nature last summer while doing my book-shopping for school, and when I was packing my bags for L.A. last week, on a whim I decided to bring it along for the trip. I started it on the plane and I got 40 pages into it before I was already sick of her attempts to be clever when it comes to subverting novel devices -- it felt too much like she wasn't sure how to do them well or too self-conscious about the fact that these devices actually exist (for a reason, some could argue), which, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it couldn't work, it just screamed to me "look how postmodern I am!" And I screamed back "just tell the story and trust that your characters are interesting because they are!" So I kept reading, and Wilson cut down the devices and we came to a compromise. At the end, it was a fun book but I never laughed out loud like all the blurbs claimed.

Last night I read No One Writes to the Colonel which I enjoyed ten times more than Leaf Storm. I can't say more because I'm starting to run out of steam on this pop culture review.

Television

Oprah had James Frey on and then the next day the cast of Brokeback Mountain. You're killing me! Everyone and their mother has weighed in on the Frey issue so I will just say that surprisingly I found myself most sympathetic towards the publisher. And I hated how Oprah made it her fault for not having some system in place for not fact-checking memoirs. Why isn't it the LIAR's fault, rather than the fault of people who don't catch the liar? What's wrong with assuming people are honest? It reminds me of her shows when she almost blames the victims for not being aware enough to prevent a situation, like when Amber Frey came on the show to talk about the Scott Peterson situation. Wait a minute....what's up with the name "Frey"?

So now I'm really in love with Heath Ledger, because of his british accent and stripey shirt and how sweet and loving he was towards Michelle Williams. But I'm still sick of the whole "I'm so hip and okay with being gay that I can make wink-wink-nudge-nudge gay jokes and it's not homophobic" thing that straight and supposedly-straight people do. Sorry, it's still contributing to the problem. I'm looking at you, Jake Gyllenhall, as well as Oprah. I hate how in one breath she can be all like "I love this movie because it's about showing the power of living your truth and how we're all people, no matter how we love" and then two milliseconds later say, "wasn't it hard to make out WITH A GUY?!?!" as if it's the most traumatic thing ever.

That's enough prattling on for one Saturday morning.

Comments

[kneidlach.livejournal.com]

The Station Agent rocks my socks off.

[sebastian6.livejournal.com]

"wasn't it hard to make out WITH A GUY?!?!"

i'm not at all trying to be argumentative here, just trying to understand.
if you are heterosexual it is hard to make out with a guy, so why is that a homophobic comment? i didn't see the show so i'm not privy to the context of that comment, but by itself it doesn't seem offensive.

but again, maybe i just don't understand and i'd like to.

[sebastian6.livejournal.com]

and oh yeah...the station agent was a wonderfully quaint and peaceful movie. i love movies like that.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

first off, i do want to clarify it's not the same level of homophobia as "gay people should die", i'm not trying to equate that.

it's homophobic because the issue is "making out with someone you're not attracted to", which could be a man, woman, old, young, different race, whatever. but no one ever questions that if they were hetero. there's a false division between the two, because of societal homophobia or perhaps better put, heteronormative expectations, etc. etc. if people TRULY saw NO difference between the hierarchy of sexuality and sexual relationships, the question wouldn't be asked that way, or at all.

so i'm saying, the REASON it's (extra) hard for a guy to make out with a guy is because they're homophobic. which, most everyone is, at least at some point. cause that's what we're ingrained. so my point is it's weird to hear back to back comments, one challenging the systemic homophobia, the other reasserting it.

[sebastian6.livejournal.com]

great points! thanks for clarifying. one more poser for you:

what about a guy who finds it difficult to make out with guys but
easy to suck their cocks?

[raybear.livejournal.com]

interesting...but not unheard of! more often i see guys who find it difficult to make out with other guys, but would more easily let another guy suck their cock -- that is somewhat more explanable, in that "a blowjob is a blowjob" and they can always just close their eyes and imagine whatever they want.

in the case you pose, i would say perhaps the person is just interested in experimenting with a body part. or maybe it's also curiosity about what other people experience when he himself gets a blowjob. and making out has a certain intimacy and association of attracttion that doesn't appeal to them, versus a plain sex act that is more about just getting off. there's a certain anonymity in a blowjob that isn't necessarily there with a kiss. contextually speaking, of course. at other times, oral sex can be very intimate.

a short answer i would hypothesize is:

making out = romantic and erotic interest in men = gay
blowjobs = horny + eager/desperate = straight but willing to try something new to get off

[sebastian6.livejournal.com]

good answers. i fell into that category for several years. while i have little to no interest in doing that now, there was a time when the cock itself turned me on quite a bit. the body part was, in some ways, seperated from the identity of the man, though not completely.

thanks for the insight and patience to answer my queries.

-s6

[kneidlach.livejournal.com]

because of his british accent

Wait... I thought Heath was Australian?

[raybear.livejournal.com]

probably. i'm bad at distinguishing them. i'll just start calling it "the Queen's english".

[kneidlach.livejournal.com]

haha!

[switch-beat.livejournal.com]

the station agent uses quiet real well
to develop character and astounding visual
cinematography, good nature angles, also
the random little black girl. i like that movie.

my two centimes

[science101.livejournal.com]

First off "Salut!"--sorry I haven't been posting anything lately. If you want to be a hermit, try moving to a foreign country filled with the least welcoming people on Earth...it works. In fact, you can take my apt. on sublet.

Regarding that luscious scoop of chocolate mousse that is Oprah, I generally agree with the irritation of the everpresent "shock" at a straight actor kissing a guy. Whatever happened to questions like: "How was it for you psychologically playing a serial killer that ate his victims?" or "What is it like having your acting digitally morphed into an oversized gorilla? Don't you feel like you are pissing your trade down the toilet?" etc. In other words, actors do far more shocking things than say, deliver a kiss that is both in context and in character. I want the next person who plays a vicious killer or rapist to get a few "shock" questions.

Regarding Frey...perhaps I am alone on this one but I have never really accepted anyone's autobio. as true...and not to be overly pomo here but whatever happened to the theory of personal narratives? (lifestories etc.) If it is well written, it's well written...if pomos have taught us nothing it is that the lines between fiction, non-fiction, fact, and self-report are quite fuzzy. (No one use that against me in future please.)

ps miss you much Ray
pps saw the craziest thing on "arte" our upscale pbs-like tv station, a mozart concert, opera....and the primary singer, male, was a flipper-baby. no shit. it was so captivating, this enormous voice from a tiny person who flapped his flippers during particularly emotional parts.

[sharkysmachine.livejournal.com]

I thought it was the publishers fault because when he presented it as fiction they didn't want it, but when he resubmitted the SAME manuscript as non fiction (at the insistance of his agent) they totally bought it.

So that would make it their fault. believe me there is plenty of blame to go around. That well isn't gonna run dry for another couple months.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

I think the publishers are certainly GULLIBLE in this case and should be embarassed for their actions. However, it's not their actual fault -- that would be the agent, for doing it, knowing full well it was bullshit.

But like you said, they can all drink from the cup and there's still plenty left for ole Jimmy.

[sharkysmachine.livejournal.com]

I think their publicists and not Oprah might be the culprit. They get asked that question everywhere they've gone and it's just an opportunity for them to both express their hetrosexuality without looking like it was their idea to bring it up.

Jake needs to go suck a dick and sit down somewhere. He's like so bitter that his homoloving came on his face and didn't call back.

No Oscar for you, babe.

If all you had to do to get an Oscar is kiss a boy then Ted Casablanca would've had one years ago.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

Or Steve Kmetko.

I don't mean to imply that Oprah is the only one asking those questions -- I think I just notice it more because she does the back and forth thing, flashing immediately between touching/empathetic/melodramatic tone and joke/fudge recipe/how to look thinner. I actually refer to this now as "pulling an Oprah" in conversation.