raybear | I know someday this will all work out

I drank about 6 glasses of the cocktail today, most of it between the hours of 9 am and 4 pm. I also had the additional items: 1 shot of wheatgrass, 12oz of organic pressed apple juice (nothing added, not even water), and another handful of almonds. My BFF talked about her fasting and how afterwards when she would eat, she felt she completely embodied the food. I feel a little of that now -- when I'm eating those almonds, its ALL I'm doing -- I take tiny bites and hold them in my mouth and take forever to chew and swallow. I came home and couldn't bear any more cocktail, but since I wasn't hungry, I figure it didn't matter. I drank one cup of spearmint tea and now I'm about to have the senna tea (herbal laxative).

The first half of the day I didn't have many physical symptoms, nothing seemed odd or out of place, except my ass hurt from wiping so damn much because of going to the bathroom so frequently. In the afternoon, I noticed my chest was hurting a little, like my lungs -- if I took a super deep breath, it felt sore. This might be from heaving last night. It might also be my esophagus sore from so much citrus.

I got home around 7 and my legs were feeling sore. This was strange, given that I walked a little today, but not much. It started to progress more and more, a deep deep ache in the muscle near the bone, the kind of soreness than comes after major physical exertion (like moving or some other physical labor). I took an epsom salt bath to help pull out impurities, and it felt nice but I'm still sore.

I feel like my breath smells really bad, in that way that emanates up from your gut and the coating in your mouth, like when your sick. I haven't really asked anyone if this is true. I drank the spearmint tea to help, but it doesn't seem to have done anything. Actually, everything coming out of my body smells slightly different.

I thought I had other things to report. I ducked into the Barnes and Noble in Evanston because I had to pee really bad when I got off the train and I got a little mesmerized by their displays -- my vision seemed to be really sharp and detailed. That might have just been the shiny new commerical store though.

Food cravings have lessened. Or rather, they don't completely preoccupy all my thoughts. I'm still having them and they are intense for a moment, but then they taper off quickly. Some of it is less hunger and more habit -- I'll see something and think, ooh, sounds good, I want some. But then I remember I'm fasting, and I get sad and pouty for a moment, then I think, I'm coming back to get this first thing when I'm eating again. I have lots of 'first things' right now in the running. They include:
caramel/cheese popcorn
doughnuts (preferably krispey kreme, though a chocolate glazed from anywhere might do)
cheeseburger
fried chicken
medium rare steak
sushi
an italian sub from potbelly or jimmy john's or wherever -- with 5 meats and cheeses on it

Even writing all this out wasn't too bad. It's kind of the most sustained I've thought about food all day.

I have to go to the dentist. I haven't been in....years. But now I'm pretty convinced I have at least a couple cavities and maybe more. Damn you

mintwaster for mentioning a toothache! Maybe it's a sympathy root canal. Somehow I doubt it. Luckily I have dental coverage with the county insurance and I pulled out the card to inspire me to call and make an appointment. I have no co-pay! I'm trying to tap into the "I'll take anything that's free!" part of my brain to help me ignore the other part of my brain that freaks out about my teeth.

I finally saw Little Miss Sunshine. It was a lot of fun. It was also good to check-out for a couple hours in the middle of the day and I forget how much I love going to movies by myself. Logan Theater has a couple decent ones they just added, maybe I'll go back this weekend.

I wonder if I'm moving slower while detoxing. How is it 9:30? I haven't done anything. But I've enjoyed everything I'm (not) doing. It's kind of like how getting sick intentionally makes you slow down and catch your breath. I guess I'm sort of inducing that.

Today my itunes and ipod has been a trip to the near-past, anywhere from five years to fifteen years. And then I was on Northwestern's campus briefly and it's freshman orientation week and people were moving in and it made me feel oddly nostalgic. I mean, I didn't hate my college experience, because I had some great people in my immediate circle. But I wasn't in love with my school or anything. So its strange to experience environmental nostalgia. Maybe its just the season change.