Are you okaaay? Look like you got a lot to say

[raybear]

Ok, so was this an okay "blow-off" e-mail? It's 100% true, in case you're wondering. I really am super-busy this week. I guess I wanted to compose a note that says "I don't really want to go out with you again, but you're nice and I don't want to be an ass." For those wondering why I wasn't more direct (i.e. no, I'm sorry I'm not interested), she hasn't actually expressed interest in hanging out or going out, so I think it would presumptuous to say no to something that wasn't propositioned. And I think this note is much better than just "forgetting to return her call".


Hey El___,

Just got both your e-mail and your vmail this morning. Things have been pretty busy in my microcosm. Orca busy, as my buddy Damon would say. I've spent the past 2 weekends moving all of my earthly possessions by myself with a friend's wonderfully spacious old borrowed Volvo. I'm mostly done, though I still need to return to the old place this week and throw away a bunch of stuff, as well as clean. I'm also trying to meet up with two different people on 2 different nights to wish them farewell before leaving the fair city of Chicago. Plus, tonight I'm going to a friend's play. And the g.e. (girlfriend-equivalent) returns on Friday. So I'm pretty swamped for awhile, and then (luckily) I go on vacation on the 31st for almost 2 weeks. So my August isn't quite shaping up how I planned, though it's not necessarily bad by any means. E-mail's probably the only way I can be tracked down these days, and even that's sketchy because work is getting in the way of my life and all. They keep asking me to do things for 8 hours straight....
Anyway, I'm glad that you had a fun time at Michigan and hope it was restful. I'm sorry I have no idea when we might be able to hang out, though at some point soon I'll probably run into you in this small world we call the Chicago queer community.

Ray

Addendum: Well, this must have been TOO nice, because she wrote back this short e-mail saying "let me know if you need help/company while moving or if you have an unexpected free time and want to hang out". Then she asked where I was going on vacation. So now the question is, should I be slightly rude and "forget" to write her back? Or should I write back answer her question about my vacation? Is this a ploy to get me to respond to her e-mail? Why are grrrls so funny/weird?
I'm leaning towards not replying right now.

Comments

hey there

[clockwatcher.livejournal.com]

all that definitely makes sense - i guess i was just opting for the "i would like to see you sometime but i'm not really interested in dating you" becuase in my opinion that's another way of saying "i don't want to see you anytime soon on purpose."

i guess also i am just kind of stupid when it comes to dating so if someone doesn't explicitly say "i'm not interested in seeing you" i just think them being busy means "i'm busy" or at the most "i'm not interested in seeing you seriously, but i still would like to kiss you if we see each other again." in other words, i've never really been one to fizzle out, i process everything too much.

in my experience casually dating an acquaintance doesn't really turn into a friendship after it's over... mostly because in getting to know someone, physical or not, you realize that you aren't really interested in hanging out with them... the physical part just makes you realize it faster. know what i mean? so if you were a casual acquaintance before you'd be one after.

and that's what i'm saying with regard to being direct as well - if you just tell her and get it over with, you don't have to avoid her phone calls becuase she won't be calling you. :-P i find i'm most uncomfortable in situations where, similiar to you, i thought i wanted something, and then i realized pretty quickly i didn't... it is definitely hard to tell folks that, i know.


i like your idea about writing her w/r to melanie.. i think that's a good answer and doesn't make her feel bad because she knows melanie was around before hand and would be at the end of the summer.

take care

jessie

Re: hey there

[raybear.livejournal.com]

yeah, I need to buck up and be honest. It's a lot easier than running across the street when I see the person approaching on the sidewalk. ha.

thanks a lot, Jessie. I really appreciate your input and insight. I think will go with the mentioning melanie route.

yeah...

[clockwatcher.livejournal.com]

i don't like running, it's hard on my knees. ;)