Some can't relate - well baby, that's life.

[raybear]

1. After a conversation yesterday afternoon over a patty melt, I've been thinking about the difference between opinionated and judgmental. Not the Webster's definition, obviously, but rather what are the actions and interpretations and use and et cetera, et cetera. In my turning over of the evidence stored in my brain, I'm sorting into two piles, one side being the actions/words, the other side being the lens that sees such. Nothing conclusive has been reached so far, I'm just in the preliminary musing stage of the scientific method.

2. I can't believe they made a new Charlotte's Web movie and that they added damn characters. Those people are hellbound. At least, to the literary hell that's about the only one I imagine to exist.

3. I find it very soothing and relaxing to comb out my beard, against the grain making it all fluffy and blown out.

4. I just found out they made the novel Perfume into a movie that's opening soon, so now I want to hurry and read it. It's been on my short "to-be read" list (and by short I mean approximately 30 titles) and since I haven't started a novel yet, this one has moved to the head of the class. My reading triage is a little ridiculous and frequently the next choice is dependent on mysterious signs from the universe. Like finding out it got adapted into a movie.

5. I bought a new coffemaker, that is an 8-cup french press method, but in an insulated brushed silver pot. I'm hesitant to make grand statements about it since it's not in my hands, but based on the pictures and descriptions, I am anticipating deep affection and excitement. It was drastically slashed in price on Amazon.com plus I signed up for a 30 day free trial of something to get free shipping. Note to self: remember to cancel that in 4 weeks. Until then, maybe I should buy a bunch random stuff to get more free shipping. I wonder if they sell mattresses.

Comments

Found your journal thought I would say hi

[nakitasha.livejournal.com]

i found your journal surfing around LJ and I liked the way you said things so I added you to my friends list.

Your discussion on the diffrence between opionated and judgemental struck me as interesting and got me to thinking a bit. I am a very opinonated person. I like what I like and how I like it though I don't often get what I want because Im married to a sadist who loves the sound of himself saying no just as much as he loves the sound of a flogger or paddle.

My work is that of a Tarot Reader. Ive been doing that for nearly 20 years both in chatrooms for free and for pay when I really need the money. I have a lot of opinons about the lives of people who come to me for help. But, I have to use being judgemental very carefully.

There are some people in the world who only hear the judgemental things. So my saying if you argue with your boy friend as much as you do me I have no doubt as to why he is cheating on you is a judgement that I have made simply to make the person hush for five minutes so I can tell them my opinon and its usually done out of frustration.

But, I have no business being judgemental. I may not always agree with them or understand why they are doing what they are doing or why they don't want to change whats wrong in their lives that the openly admit to being wrong but, I no more want to tell them that they are wrong for being the way they are or feeling the way they are than I want them in my life telling me the same thing.

I can say hon, if your this hurt maybe its time for you to step back and get some perspective but I cannot say Well of course hes a lieing cheat that doesn't deserve you. You should get out now. People don't respond to that kind of thing. They want to feel validated. Yes there is a problem. They want opinons on the best way to deal with the problem but they do not want to hear me say, are you stupid? why the heck did you do that?

So you can have an opinon about someone and their life without judging them you just have to be very careful about it. I have one policy main policy. Tell me the complete truth about the situation and Ill tell you what I think is going on and how to make it better but you will never hear me say anything about you as a person that is derogitory. Ive done readings for a woman who was in essance involved in a poly relationship and had been judged harshly for allowing her husband to have a mistress. Ive done readings for the Homosexual community, I get a lot of those because to me its not my business who you sleep with its my business to treat you like your human just like all the rest of us and make you feel comfortable, safe and heard. After you feel those things then I can voice my opinon on what is happening and help lead you to some good desisions that will improve your life. But, if I become judgemental then I lose all credibility and any chance I have been given to help goes out the window.

I believe the Goddess sends them to me because she thinks there is something I can learn from them and they can learn from me. She doesn't send them to me so that they can walk away from a discussion with me feeling bad about themselves. So yes there is a big difference between being opinonated and being judgemental. The place where they cross is when you don't word your opinion well enough and the other party percieves it as a judgement or where your being judgemental and say it in such a way it comes across as being an opinion.

So theres my two cents worth. I hope you didn't mind me intruding.