so you want to be a writer?

[raybear]

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.


[by Charles Bukowski]


I used to try and argue with this poem even though I loved it, but now I don't, I just accept its flaws.

Comments

[girlfiction.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting this, Ray. I feel like a needed a little reminder about some things and this was really helpful. I wrote a similar piece, months ago, about my personal experience with the "either I write or I die" thought process. If you are interested I will send it your way.

How the hell are you? P.S.

[unscrambled.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that you love this poem.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

why, because it doesn't uphold the values of craft and discipline?

i have contradicting ideas and feelings on writing.

[unscrambled.livejournal.com]

My surprise isn't about the craft/discipline part, but more about the Bukowskiness. The dick waggling, writing as stand in because I can't/don't want to do pushups, Get In The Game kind of tone. It's not really something I've heard you appreciate.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

everyone has their nelly furtados.

[unscrambled.livejournal.com]

and Vin Diesels.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

have you seen Find Me Guilty yet? i see it and think of you and then sort of hold off in case there's a chance we could watch it together.

[unscrambled.livejournal.com]

I totally haven't. I feel like it should be on On Demand, to see for free.

[iamthesphinx.livejournal.com]

I haven't read Bukowski, but I must say, if he's going to write shit like that, he had better be a fucking GREAT writer. Because otherwise, the irony of his ranting against pretention and loving the sound of one's own voice is just too much...

[raybear.livejournal.com]

oh, he totally loved the sound of his on voice. and he made himself the hero in everything he wrote.

he was also a ridiculously prolific writer. and while he was narcissistic, he wasn't pretentious. he's a somewhat polarizing writer with a huge cult status and i don't love everything about him or his work, but some of his isht is straight up writing genius.

[iamthesphinx.livejournal.com]

Well...alright then. :-)

I'll have to check out some of his stuff, sometime in the largely-fictional future where I have free time to read...

[magdalene1.livejournal.com]

He also had a Fairy Godfather come in and pay him a salary just to write - regardless of whether he ever published.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

Another reason why patrons should be brought back!! After 5 years the book sales started to turn a profit. Hell, I don't think Amazon turned a profit for 5 years.

[magdalene1.livejournal.com]

Yes!

And he had wives who took care of his every bodily need. So, let's see....no worries about money, check. No worries about where dinner is coming from or what to wear tomorrow, check.

I love some of his writing, but I'm not sure he gets to tell other people how it's done.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

I don't know, to me it's similar to when I have great advice for my friends about how to deal with problems, but I can't get my own isht together. That's why I'm saying, I used to argue with this poem, but now I let it go and enjoy the parts that work for me personally.

[magdalene1.livejournal.com]

I like the poem too. And it reminds me of how it feels on the days when you're really flying as a writer. :)