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it is perhaps the period that ends
the problem as a proposition of days of days
just an attack on the feelings that stay
poised in the hurricane's center
that eye through which only camels can pass


I didn't plan well for having a day off, for some reason, I have too much time and don't know what to do with it all, exactly. I know, it's weird that I'm sitting here thinking for a moment, a brief moment, that I almost wouldn't have minded going to work today. It's partly because my Monday mornings are fairly easy-going for me anyway, because of my schedule, so it was sort of strange to have to share that with the world, when I went out for a run or a bike ride or to buy dog food or to Target. I also watched the rest of Brazil, which I'd started earlier in the weekend. I cobbled together a first chapter of my novel, pieces that might work as an intro, to be workshopped, which means read, which means this is the first time people will see pages that I've been burrowing myself in for over a month. Speaking of, I've decided to finish a first draft by June 30th, based on the suggestion and prodding of Katrina (who is doing the same, along with Noriko). Which might really be June 23rd, since that's when I'm flying to SF for the birthday holiday. I mean, I suppose I might write a little while there, but I certainly wouldn't want to bank on it, I will be more busy doing other things, I'm sure. So, it's like novel writing month, with a headstart. I'm not so much having a number goal, more that I want all the major scenes done (in addition to any small ones that have come about along the way), so I can get to the business of re-writing all of them. I think this part will involve a road trip to Osceola, Arkansas for a weekend.

I'm not naturally so detached but I think
they might send me up any minute so I try to be free
you we've all sinned a lot against science
so we really outght to be available as an apple on a bough
pleasnt thought fresh air free love cross-pollenization

oh oh god how i'd love to dream let along sleep it's night
the soft air wraps me like a swarmin it's raining and I have
a cold I am a real human being with real ascendancies


Today I was pulling out notes from a grad school lecture, specifically about narrative outlining to help me with wrestling with some structure ideas, and ended up going through all the pages of the notebook I took with me for all five residencies, random snippets of my two years, and I think my favorite line was from Jim Krusoe who said, 'people don't change. They change behavior, but it's more about learning to live with yourself."

the strange career of a personality begins at five and ends
forty minutes later in a fog the rest is just a lot of stranded
ships honking their horns full of joy-seeking cadets in bloomers


I ate butter pecan ice cream until my tongue was numb and raw and thought about you and why I'm suddenly eating butter pecan ice cream after 29 years of not.

no there is no precedent of history no history nobody came before
nobody will ever come before and nobody ever was that mand

you will not die not knowing this is true this year



All italicized words are Frank's.

Date: 2007-05-29 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracijean.livejournal.com
I love this Frank poem! In my first ever college-level creative writing class, I wrote a crappy poem with "you will not die knowing this is true this year" as the... OH FUCK WHAT'S IT CALLED! oh my god! the quote at the beginning of the poem... crap. i know it has a specific name. i have summertime-stupid-brain. anyway.

Date: 2007-05-29 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
epigram, right? that's the thing that's NOT on the tombstone, right? ha.

one of my goals is to memorize this poem and be able to recite it in the style of Frank O'Hara. i listen to the recording at least once or twice a week. do you have it? if not, i'll e-mail you the mp3.

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