There's a thousand yous

[raybear]

Spending time at this office I have learned, through my purely anecdotal research of this somewhat representative sample of mainstream straight corporate midwest america, that the gap between men and women when it comes to hating their bodies is narrowing. Unfortunately, this is because men are the ones dropping, not because women are becoming more confident.

I just went to get a plate for dinner, and they ordered I think from Chili's, and its chicken tenders and mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. Jealous, I know. So I was the first one there, with this other guy SK, and we're pulling out the plates and utensils and kinda making jokes about the gravy and how heavy this meal is but perfect for a winter day, and then he looks at it and says "why don't they just apply it directly to my ass!?!" (SK is approximately 6 inches taller than me and 40 pounds lighter, not that it matters, but still.) I was so taken aback. Even though I hear comments like this ALL THE TIME, from the male attorneys at dinnertime, talking about carbs and diets and working out and getting fat and losing weight, etc. etc. ad nauseum. It almost occupies as much time and space in their conversation as sports. It makes me very sad. I mean, it makes me sad that anyone hates their body, and it makes me angry whan any person just parrots off whatever anti-fat sentiment is handy in their brain to express their fears of such, but something about hearing it from straight men's mouths, which up until recently was far less common, is a different kind of unsettling, because of what the broader implications are.

Comments

[fuzzilla.livejournal.com]

Wow, I've never heard a guy make a comment like that. I'd be doin' a double take, too. I suppose I've heard guys fret about their weight, but more in a plans and goals way and not so much in a self-hating way.

[unscrambled.livejournal.com]

I'm always surprised when people talk about men not having body-hating--I agree with you, I hear about it all the time. It's different than how it plays out with women, but it's not unrelated.

[broqued.livejournal.com]

why doesn't he just bring his own damn dinner?

[raybear.livejournal.com]

have you met (most) attorneys? they can't fed ex something by themselves, much less pack a dinner. which is good, because otherwise i wouldn't have a job.

they always eat what they are complaining about. its just that fcked up thing where somehow acknowledging something is 'fattening' makes it okay to eat anyway. its some sort of weird bonding thing, which i've never gotten either, since the majority of people who have done this to me in the past 25 years have always been thinner than me, but they want to bond over 'being fat' and i want to bond over punching them.

[fuzzilla.livejournal.com]

>they want to bond over 'being fat' and i want to bond over punching them.<

Ha! I'll bond over that.