Can't find a way back home anymore
Sep. 16th, 2008 07:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearI had this minor meltdown last week, and it just happened because sometimes those things happen, and I keep waivering between writing about it and not wanting to write about it, mostly the latter, except when I'd come here, I didn't know what to say instead. But now I have some stories to tell. And some other minor bits at the end.
So. My rash. Not scarlet fever. Its still here. It started to maybe heal (drying up, peeling) but then it got worse. And so I decided to try vinegar because I thought it might be fungal (and years back I had this mystery scaly patch on the top of my foot that didn't heal with over-the-counter antifungals or prescription steroids but did go away after a few days of swabbing it with kitchen vinegar). It seemed to be helping, some. But hard to tell. It also made me feel pretty disgusting, the thought of being covered in a fungal infection. Why is that so much worse than bacteria or viral? It just is. Finally, today I caved and called the dermatologist that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dommeyourass uses. I called at 8:30 am, they said, how about 10:00? Ok.
I show up at just past 10, its an empty office. DYA warned me this guy is perpetually one week away from retirement and so is his assistant, I would guess. I fill out a form, which is this 1/2 page sheet of new patient info that was possibly copied on a mimeograph machine. But whatever, I overhear him talking isht about McCain and his tax plan, so I'm fine with it.
He points me to exam room one, which has all these leather seats, like, the metal bucket seat style with leather upholstering. He tells me to put my stuff in one, but sit in a specific one across from him. There's no actual exam table. There is a stack of his self-published book on Dickens references. He asks me about the rash. He tells me to take off my shirt and stand up. Then he tells me to pull down my pants. I start to kick off my shoes, and he says "you don't need to take off your shoes, just pull down your pants." Um, ok. I do. "Pull down your shorts." I.e. my boxer shorts. "Um....uh......" He waves me off, "just do it! I need to see!"
Well, okay then. I pull down my boxers. He pauses, looks, says "where's your....." trails off then says, "ok, turn that way." He inspects some more, then says I can put all my clothes back on.
To the man's credit, he just kept going in the face of my unexpected junk being directly eyelevel. To my credit, I didn't freak out or burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. I didn't even bother with an explanation. I mean, what more can you say after fcking showing your business like that?
Then he gave me his diagnosis: "I don't know WHAT it is." Then he proceeded to type out the prescription on this Apple IIE computer and print it out on a dot matrix printer, the kind with the strips along the side, and he busted out his straight edge to tear the sheet in half -- one copy for me, one for the file.
"What is this your prescribing?" A steroid cream. I'm supposed to pick one area of the body and apply it twice a day for a week. He suggests my arms. The rash is ALL OVER. It is spotting all over my back, belly, legs. It is concentrated in certain areas, like my arms and lower back and part of my belly, but still. So, I'm supposed to use this for a week, and hopefully it will work and when I come back he'll look and prescribe more if it does. If not, he will scrape one of the red dots off and send away to have it biopsied.
Hell, no. I mean, whatever, he could have fcking scraped off one today and sent it off if he wanted, I wouldn't have minded. But don't tell me you don't know what it is (he thinks its something something psoriasis, even though I've never had that before and it just happened to appear while on these antibiotics?), but then you prescribe medication for me on a lark? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate his honesty. But when I pulled up to the store with the pharmacy, I decided to leave the piece of paper in the car and not even fill it. Instead I remember, oh yeah, I have a friend who's a health practitioner now and she made an appointment for me tomorrow and called me today and I told her the story of my rash unfolding/spreading and she had ideas of what it is and how to treat it. I felt so relieved and taken care of and happy that I have good people to call up, if I can just remember to do it. So tomorrow, I'm also getting acupuncture for the first time. I've had no aversion to it, just never had an opportunity before to partake.
I bought myself Trader Joe's ice cream chipwiches as my treat after the dermatologist. I ate them on the couch with DYA while watching episodes of 30 Rock.
Then on the way to work today, I got a flat tire. Which sucks and is inconvenient, but I wasn't too worked up about it. I've been lucky to make it through the whole summer without one, which is somewhat miraculous given the ridiculous unavoidable potholes and massive strips of asphalt missing on Milwaukee Avenue (which is what finally burst this one). I was also not too far from a train station, so I parked my bike and made it to work relatively on-time. I had this idea of patching it up after work and riding home, but that is probably somewhat insane of a scheme, given its dark outside. I'll probably just bring the bike on the train and do it in the morning in the yard.
There's another piece of today, which includes reconnecting with an old and dear friend/mentor of mine via Facebook that even thinking about gets me all misty and choked up but that story will have to wait, I have to finish some work projects. But there was one line she wrote in her message to me that has just been sustaining me all afternoon and evening. And that is a pretty amazing thing, I am still almost working to really hear it and let it sink in. I've been thinking so much about the devastation of people and loss, I needed a reminder of the other side of the coin.
Also, afterdrood and my work crush suggested the new itunes for the "Genius" feature, I'm hooked. Its like Pandora with your own music collection!
So. My rash. Not scarlet fever. Its still here. It started to maybe heal (drying up, peeling) but then it got worse. And so I decided to try vinegar because I thought it might be fungal (and years back I had this mystery scaly patch on the top of my foot that didn't heal with over-the-counter antifungals or prescription steroids but did go away after a few days of swabbing it with kitchen vinegar). It seemed to be helping, some. But hard to tell. It also made me feel pretty disgusting, the thought of being covered in a fungal infection. Why is that so much worse than bacteria or viral? It just is. Finally, today I caved and called the dermatologist that
dommeyourass uses. I called at 8:30 am, they said, how about 10:00? Ok. I show up at just past 10, its an empty office. DYA warned me this guy is perpetually one week away from retirement and so is his assistant, I would guess. I fill out a form, which is this 1/2 page sheet of new patient info that was possibly copied on a mimeograph machine. But whatever, I overhear him talking isht about McCain and his tax plan, so I'm fine with it.
He points me to exam room one, which has all these leather seats, like, the metal bucket seat style with leather upholstering. He tells me to put my stuff in one, but sit in a specific one across from him. There's no actual exam table. There is a stack of his self-published book on Dickens references. He asks me about the rash. He tells me to take off my shirt and stand up. Then he tells me to pull down my pants. I start to kick off my shoes, and he says "you don't need to take off your shoes, just pull down your pants." Um, ok. I do. "Pull down your shorts." I.e. my boxer shorts. "Um....uh......" He waves me off, "just do it! I need to see!"
Well, okay then. I pull down my boxers. He pauses, looks, says "where's your....." trails off then says, "ok, turn that way." He inspects some more, then says I can put all my clothes back on.
To the man's credit, he just kept going in the face of my unexpected junk being directly eyelevel. To my credit, I didn't freak out or burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. I didn't even bother with an explanation. I mean, what more can you say after fcking showing your business like that?
Then he gave me his diagnosis: "I don't know WHAT it is." Then he proceeded to type out the prescription on this Apple IIE computer and print it out on a dot matrix printer, the kind with the strips along the side, and he busted out his straight edge to tear the sheet in half -- one copy for me, one for the file.
"What is this your prescribing?" A steroid cream. I'm supposed to pick one area of the body and apply it twice a day for a week. He suggests my arms. The rash is ALL OVER. It is spotting all over my back, belly, legs. It is concentrated in certain areas, like my arms and lower back and part of my belly, but still. So, I'm supposed to use this for a week, and hopefully it will work and when I come back he'll look and prescribe more if it does. If not, he will scrape one of the red dots off and send away to have it biopsied.
Hell, no. I mean, whatever, he could have fcking scraped off one today and sent it off if he wanted, I wouldn't have minded. But don't tell me you don't know what it is (he thinks its something something psoriasis, even though I've never had that before and it just happened to appear while on these antibiotics?), but then you prescribe medication for me on a lark? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate his honesty. But when I pulled up to the store with the pharmacy, I decided to leave the piece of paper in the car and not even fill it. Instead I remember, oh yeah, I have a friend who's a health practitioner now and she made an appointment for me tomorrow and called me today and I told her the story of my rash unfolding/spreading and she had ideas of what it is and how to treat it. I felt so relieved and taken care of and happy that I have good people to call up, if I can just remember to do it. So tomorrow, I'm also getting acupuncture for the first time. I've had no aversion to it, just never had an opportunity before to partake.
I bought myself Trader Joe's ice cream chipwiches as my treat after the dermatologist. I ate them on the couch with DYA while watching episodes of 30 Rock.
Then on the way to work today, I got a flat tire. Which sucks and is inconvenient, but I wasn't too worked up about it. I've been lucky to make it through the whole summer without one, which is somewhat miraculous given the ridiculous unavoidable potholes and massive strips of asphalt missing on Milwaukee Avenue (which is what finally burst this one). I was also not too far from a train station, so I parked my bike and made it to work relatively on-time. I had this idea of patching it up after work and riding home, but that is probably somewhat insane of a scheme, given its dark outside. I'll probably just bring the bike on the train and do it in the morning in the yard.
There's another piece of today, which includes reconnecting with an old and dear friend/mentor of mine via Facebook that even thinking about gets me all misty and choked up but that story will have to wait, I have to finish some work projects. But there was one line she wrote in her message to me that has just been sustaining me all afternoon and evening. And that is a pretty amazing thing, I am still almost working to really hear it and let it sink in. I've been thinking so much about the devastation of people and loss, I needed a reminder of the other side of the coin.
Also, after
drood and my work crush suggested the new itunes for the "Genius" feature, I'm hooked. Its like Pandora with your own music collection!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 11:10 am (UTC)I loved the line, I don't know WHAT it is.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 12:47 pm (UTC)of course this morning, when i have an appointment in 5 hours, it looks the most healthy pink and healing it has in weeks!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 11:58 am (UTC)I'm sorry the damn rash is still there. I think there is fungal stigma. More than bacterial. Funny, there's not a lot of blame for the virus, I need to think about that more.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 12:53 pm (UTC)the other thing i could think of is an allergic reaction. new body or laundry soap? new lotion? new cologne? introduce new foods into your system?
also, christa's dermatologist is a rockstar. you should think about checking in with him if it continues.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 04:13 pm (UTC)dp said yesterday that she got a rash FROM probiotics. interesting to say the least. are you still taking them?
i hope it gets cleared up soonly and hope that sugarsmile can sort it out!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 04:08 pm (UTC)a li'l story just for you and your friends...
Date: 2008-09-17 05:31 pm (UTC)So the for my next appointment they upgrasded me to the actual from China doc, he new what the shit was IMMEDIATELY, he wanted to know if I was part Mongolian, because I guess they are prone to fungal infection of the facial sebacious glands which is what it was. It is related to athlete's foot and is prevalent in high altitude dry climates and then gets exaserbated by Mongolians never exposing their feet to open air (they just go from one pair of socks to the rest with only a bath once a week or so being the only time their feet are bare. He told me that the cipro had killed my immunity to that fungus and it would take while for the good bacteria to poliferate to normal if ever, which is why Cipro should be a drug of last resort. Also he said to wear this kind of shoe:
THE END
Oh and PS
Date: 2008-09-17 05:34 pm (UTC)