raybear: (Default)
[personal profile] raybear
So I just had comments of mine DELETED from someone's journal. I had a brief moment of indignation, but now I feel sorta proud. Perhaps that means I really hit home. Or something.

And in return, I decided to drop them from my friends list (not because I think they care -- in fact, they're probably relieved!), but because I should just avoid things that have the possibility of raising my blood pressure and investing in someone who doesn't give a damn. I guess I have learned something since my early days on the net when I would have week-long flaming wars with folks.......

What kills me though is that I was totally polite and just tried to be honest and present an alternate viewpoint. But I guess I'm too "politically correct" i.e. I have a sense of humanity and I'm able to retain that with my humor. Which is pretty damn funny, if I do say so myself. ;)

I guess this is part of my larger movement to not involve myself with queers or trannys solely because they're queer or tranny. That's not enough to have in common.

Date: 2001-09-28 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dannyboi.livejournal.com
Your thoughts are right on with what I am feeling. I just trimmed my list by a bunch cause I don't need the stress. Too bad the comment was deleted or I would have like to have read it, I think. This damn LJ friends list is just a horrible thing, I think.

Date: 2001-09-28 10:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milosh.livejournal.com
you're so right about the queer/trans thing not being enough in common... it takes a while to grow out of that phase where every queer person you meet is your new potential best bud, and then you get all cynical about queer people being not very "queer", and then you just settle into your grove :) that's how it's worked for me, i think (though i'm still kind of in the "if you're trans, i want to be friends with you" phase, and also the cynical phase, simultaneously...hm...)

Date: 2001-09-28 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dannyboi.livejournal.com
I think what bothers me though is that I tend to give queer people a little more time in which to decide if I like them or not. More leeway or something. You know? So when others disregard me right from the beginning...well, I guess I'm too sensitive.

Date: 2001-09-28 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com
yeah, i hear both of y'all. i basically feel like queer/trans folks are just a good starting pool to find cool friends and connections -- like you know you have at least one thing in common. then after you spend some time with folks and get to know them, you form real friendships with some, and with others...it never extends past the initial acquaintanceship, for one reason or another. but i always seem give queer folks the first benefit of the doubt, and i don't really plan on changing that anytime soon.

*applauds you*

Date: 2001-09-28 10:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supergoat.livejournal.com
Thank you. (great post)
My sentiments exactly.

Date: 2001-09-28 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kpscapes.livejournal.com
Hey Trent... sorry about the mess... took the whole post down and feeling like a big jerk right now about all of it... I posted an apology in my journal to you and everyone else who I offended.

In other news... I agree with you that we all need to look beyond gender identity in choosing friends. Yeah, not that that has anything to do with anything right now...

Anyway, I'm sorry.

Kael

more than...

Date: 2001-09-28 12:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whirledpeas.livejournal.com
25 Kudos to you!

Date: 2001-09-28 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ridleymae.livejournal.com
as i always say, just because someone's queer doesn't mean they're enlightened . . .

Date: 2001-09-28 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supergoat.livejournal.com
I agree with you 100%!
I remember when I first started college - (I went to a women's college) - and I expected that all of the other queer kids would be activists and feminists.
I was in for a harsh reality check, but a good one.
It made me see people much more as just that, people and not define them so much by their labels.

Re:

Date: 2001-09-28 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ridleymae.livejournal.com
i find myself often on the left radical fringe of most groups i am a part of, and it just keeps getting proven to me over and over again.

yes, it *is* individuals over labels!!

funny!

Date: 2001-09-30 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whirledpeas.livejournal.com
when I went to college I thought we were going to all read a book then sit around and talk about it. I thought we were going to be so....cerebral! I found out it was mostly clitoral...... hmm.

Re: funny!

Date: 2001-10-02 10:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supergoat.livejournal.com
ha-ha.
Sooo true.

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