Recommended for libraries serving a trendy population.

I went to vote at 9:15 am and it was somewhat bustling, but there was no line for my district (another district in the same school gym had a line of about....6 people). Sorry everyone on my friendslist who paid a poll tax, I mean, waited for more than an hour. I was lucky that I could go when most people were at work. Afterwards, I was in good spirits. Everyone was in good spirits, it seemed, like the times I've flown on thanksgiving day or christmas day and everyone at the airport is unexpectedly really friendly to each other. There's a feeling of ah, finally, all this anxiety of TWO YEARS is finally coming to a close. Except now its mid-afternoon and a new anxiety is creeping into the bloodstream: results anxiety. But we'll get through it. And luckily I don't have to go through it alone, in my sad office listening to NPR -- I called my boss this morning to confirm I wouldn't need to come in (not only would not attorneys be there, but perhaps you may have heard about this one million person rally thing happening tonight....approximately 5 blocks from where the law firm is). So instead I'm going away from downtown, up to Albany Park, sit around with close friends and eat lots of delicious snacks to act out my anxiety and not be alone when I inevitably get all misty-eyed and/or sobbing.

I was an unprepared voter today, compared to my usual style. I left the judges grid I'd printed out at home, so I just voted "NO" on all of them, something that unscrambled suggested as her technique, and considering I've actually witnessed and participated in a campaign to get a judge voted out and know how hard it is to get enough no-votes to oust even the most egregious judicial servant (I'm looking at you, McDunn!), this all-NO is a reasonable back-up plan. As for the rest of my ballot? I knew to vote for broqued's boyfriend as well as Anita Alvarez, but then I voted for a bunch of green party people, just because. Even though I knew very little about them as people or candidates. I was slightly ashamed by my ignorance, but it was also kinda freeing to be like, hey, Green Party platforms are mostly agreeable to me, so let's just follow that. Maybe this is what republicans feel like. Also, I live in the Chicago Democratic Machine, so my votes aren't totally uninformed, i.e. there were no super tight close races in my district this time between one super fcked-up person and one slightly fcked-up person.

Today is like a beautiful autumn day in Atlanta -- blue sky, warm with a hint of chilly breeze on your arms while wearing a t-shirt, crunchy yellow leaves blowing under your feet and tires on residential streets. Today is also my father's birthday. Sunday was my mother's birthday. There's election anxiety. There's just a lot of things. I feel a little bit like I'm carrying a television up a steep flight of stairs and around halfway you realize, oh isht, this thing is really heavy and I may or may not have a good enough grip to make it to the top, and then your balance wobbles just enough to send an image into your head of falling backwards down the stairs. Not helping! Not helping, you tell yourself. But then you get to the top and its done. Then I do it again the next day. This is my modern-day Sisyphus tale. But one thing that is never quite accounted for in that myth is the human capacity to build muscle and strength. Or so I tell myself in the good moments. Other times I'm just like, fck this tv, I'll kick it down the stairs myself before I'll go down with it.

I completely lost track of what I'm talking about. Must be time to click the "post" button!