raybear: (scream)
I woke up Wednesday morning sick as hell. But the rash was fading! I went in for my acupuncture treatment and went home with herbs and only barely made it home and in the door, I was so woozy. Then I was crazy feverish sick for the next 6 hours. I mean, whoa. I probably would have sent scary fever-induced missives via text or twitter or e-mail but I could hardly move which is just as well. I watched a movie with Demi Moore instead. And the rash was fading! Then the next day, the flu-ish was mostly gone except for tonsils swelling. Now today, even that is gone and my energy is at nearly 100%. And the rash....is back to flaming red and possibly spreading on my right leg, but really, I don't even know anymore, I can't look at it objectively. Its also back on my face. There was sobbing. There were some phone calls. Its being handled. I repeat, its being handled. I also had a raw therapy session this morning which probably didn't really help my case. I've calmed down significantly. I'm at work. I found two miniature candy bars in my drawer that I left for myself on Tuesday. Thanks, past self.

But there are numerous pleasant things I'm starting to turn my attention on. One, the mix CD that the lawyer I have a crush on made for me. Ok, its not really a "mix CD". Its more that we got into a conversation about music and traded band names and I made him a copy of several albums and vice versa. Two, eating pollo campero tonight for dinner with [livejournal.com profile] dommeyourass. Three, going to the forest preserve tomorrow morning with [livejournal.com profile] jethead. Four, going to roller derby tomorrow night with lots of favorite people.

However, there's something else that has been torturing me these past few days, possibly even more than this damn rash. Anytime I don't have other music playing, or explicit dialogue happening in my ear, my brain has been playing this on a constant loop.



If this is God's attempt at a Saul on the road to Tarsus type of transformation, I shudder to think about what kind of God this is.

May 2010

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