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I've been looking.
Jan. 1st, 2007 02:12 pmHey, remember Friendster? I still get occasional e-mails in my junk e-mail account notifying me of birthdays, which is helpful. I still don't have a myspace page and maybe I never will, because frankly the layout makes my eyes and brain hurt and I can feed the one myspace blog I read onto my LJ friends page, so really it will always be LJ 4-Ever. Or at least another 7 years.
I think my feelings for 2006 can best be described by lyrics from a Barry Manilow classic, where he states, "I've been up, I've been down, I've been trying to get the feeling again." But it's done, and what's done is done, as the aphorism says, and who am I to argue with axioms at a time like this, when its almost the only thing we can all think and say as the calendar page turns over. I started to journal out the details but after going to the candlelight service last night, I thought the message from the universe was something different. It's 2007, lighten up. I don't mean that as a pithy dismissive way of speaking about hurt or pain or hard stuff, but it's more a reminder of the good, and looking at ways to go as deep into the matters of joy as I am inclined to do in the matters of hardship. I am more familiar, more skilled in finding intimacy and revelation in pain, both major and minor. I'm ready to expand my horizons into new territories. And mix my metaphors until they are something previously unsaid. Well, maybe not so much the last one, as a writer. But I kept laughing yesterday about how easily transfixed I would get by the fast-moving clouds that shpaed and shifted overhead and caught my eye every time I stepped outside. The weather representing an emotional truth of the character in ways that dialogue and action cannot show.
I had my fix for New Year's Eve party on New Year's Eve's Eve and so last night it was quiet and chill and thoughtful and at 12:10 am I had a delayed New Year's kiss before pulling back the covers and going to bed. As my mother used to say when I was growing up and I would tease my parents for going to sleep before midnight, "it's still the new year in the morning." We had ham and mashed potatoes and carrots for lunch and we're watching lots of movies. I made lists, not so much of resolutions, but of various things to do in the year (e.g. turn 30, learn how to do a headstand, fast for 3 days, pay of 2 credit cards, etc.) and another list of combined resolutions/bad habits/self-care. Basically I made two columns, and the left one was headed "Instead of....." where I listed things I want to do less of (e.g. eating processed food, feeling suspicious of loved ones, staring at the internet for hours on end, etc.) and on the right was headed "Do more of...." where I listed things I want to do more of (e.g. take long walks, write letters, lift weights, meditate, call my friends, etc.) I also made a list of books. I keep adding to all the lists throughout the day as new ideas comes up. I'm excited by this new method of ritual renewal. It seems the most suited to how I work.
Happy 2007. I hope for all of you, the new year beginning was positive and joyful for you in the way you needed and craved, and that it will continue for the other 364 days as well.
I think my feelings for 2006 can best be described by lyrics from a Barry Manilow classic, where he states, "I've been up, I've been down, I've been trying to get the feeling again." But it's done, and what's done is done, as the aphorism says, and who am I to argue with axioms at a time like this, when its almost the only thing we can all think and say as the calendar page turns over. I started to journal out the details but after going to the candlelight service last night, I thought the message from the universe was something different. It's 2007, lighten up. I don't mean that as a pithy dismissive way of speaking about hurt or pain or hard stuff, but it's more a reminder of the good, and looking at ways to go as deep into the matters of joy as I am inclined to do in the matters of hardship. I am more familiar, more skilled in finding intimacy and revelation in pain, both major and minor. I'm ready to expand my horizons into new territories. And mix my metaphors until they are something previously unsaid. Well, maybe not so much the last one, as a writer. But I kept laughing yesterday about how easily transfixed I would get by the fast-moving clouds that shpaed and shifted overhead and caught my eye every time I stepped outside. The weather representing an emotional truth of the character in ways that dialogue and action cannot show.
I had my fix for New Year's Eve party on New Year's Eve's Eve and so last night it was quiet and chill and thoughtful and at 12:10 am I had a delayed New Year's kiss before pulling back the covers and going to bed. As my mother used to say when I was growing up and I would tease my parents for going to sleep before midnight, "it's still the new year in the morning." We had ham and mashed potatoes and carrots for lunch and we're watching lots of movies. I made lists, not so much of resolutions, but of various things to do in the year (e.g. turn 30, learn how to do a headstand, fast for 3 days, pay of 2 credit cards, etc.) and another list of combined resolutions/bad habits/self-care. Basically I made two columns, and the left one was headed "Instead of....." where I listed things I want to do less of (e.g. eating processed food, feeling suspicious of loved ones, staring at the internet for hours on end, etc.) and on the right was headed "Do more of...." where I listed things I want to do more of (e.g. take long walks, write letters, lift weights, meditate, call my friends, etc.) I also made a list of books. I keep adding to all the lists throughout the day as new ideas comes up. I'm excited by this new method of ritual renewal. It seems the most suited to how I work.
Happy 2007. I hope for all of you, the new year beginning was positive and joyful for you in the way you needed and craved, and that it will continue for the other 364 days as well.
